


Quaeritur

by Tusk_Act_IV



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Adaptation, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-21
Updated: 2018-11-30
Packaged: 2019-08-27 00:55:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 24,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16692292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tusk_Act_IV/pseuds/Tusk_Act_IV
Summary: It's getting closer to Christmas and it's time for the Gacha lovers club to start asking their favorite girls what they want for the holidays. Read on as Saihara, Naegi, and Hinata do their best to meet these Ultimate expectations to ensure their season of giving turns out well.





	1. Main heroine trio wants to get married

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own neither the story nor the characters. This is heavily adapted from the SS thread: さんたさんへ くりすますぷれぜんとはお○んぽみるくがほしいです！

 

It all started with a simple question.

A simple question that, as the leaves lost their color and clothes became thicker and warmer, was quite expected of the time. It was a question that was asked between two people, whether brother or sister, friend to friend, or lover to lover. It was a simple question that went:

"Is there anything you want for Christmas?"

"Your family name."

"What?" Saihara Shuichi blinked in surprise, not really sure what to say. While he would admit that it was only recently that he was able to gain people he'd honestly want to give a present to, the answer he had received left his mind boggled.

Well, as he had learned throughout the year, Akamatsu Kaede had a way of leaving him speechless.

"I said I want your last name, Saihara-kun." The pianist smiled back at him, not noticing the boy detective's confusion.

"You mean my family name?" Shuichi asked, trying to gain more insight to explain what she was talking about.

However, all he got was a shy "Yeah.", her cheeks dying pink.

At the moment, it was just the two of them in their empty classroom. The school day had ended and the afternoon light gave the room a warm orange glow. If Saihara Shuichi was a romantic, he'd have noticed how romantic the atmosphere and the mood between the two Ultimates were and used it to his advantage.

Unfortunately for the both of them, Shuichi was a detective and so instead just kept silent as he tried to understand what Kaede was talking about.

"I…don't understand." asked the detective, killing any mood in the air.

This time it was Kaede's turn to be surprised.

"Wait, you don't get it?"

"Not really." Shuichi shook his head. "In the first place, how do I even give you my last name? It's not really something I can put in a box…"

Kaede pointedly looked into Shuichi's eyes, searching for a sign that he was lying but to only find confusion. She could only sigh, her body visibly deflating as she slouched down.

The sight concerned Shuichi. "What's wrong?"

"You know, I already knew you were insensitive but…" Again, Kaede sighed, this time shaking her head. In a way, it was quite cute. On the other hand, it didn't help her at all. How did he remain this obtuse yet interacted daily with Iruma Miu. Well, maybe, it was because he had to interact with the inventor that he had to in order to retain his sanity.

Kaede crossed her arms and pouted, a glare aimed at the boy. "You know, I used a lot of courage to reply to you just now. Maybe, the rest of the year's supply!"

"I'm…sorry?" was the only thing Shuichi could offer back in conciliation. Even though he didn't know what was happening, he did know an angry Kaede was something to be avoided. It would be best to appease her.

"Even if you tell me that you want my last name as a Christmas gift, I honestly don't know how to give it."

"So you really don't know…" The blonde slumped down for a moment before she regained her vigor and pointed a delicate finger at Shuichi. "Please think of the answer yourself!"

"But-"

"You have till Christmas to think of an answer!" declared Kaede before she turned away from him and started to walk away.

"Wait!" Shuichi called out to her but she didn't seem to have heard or just ignored him as she continued making her way out of the room.

However, right when she arrived on the doorway, she turned back to the boy, still frozen in place. All anger seemed to have left her body as she once again sent him a shy look complete with a slight blush on her cheeks.

"…Christmas." Kaede's voice was as soft as a whisper yet it echoed across the room. "I'll be expecting a lot on Christmas, okay?."

With those last words, the Ultimate Pianist entered the corridor, closing the door behind her.

It took an embarrassing amount of time for Shuichi to remind himself that he needed to breathe.

* * *

"I'm back!" Shuichi called out as he entered the club room. The door shut behind him and he nodded to the two other occupants as they looked up from their phones to acknowledge his return. His body directed him to his usual seat automatically as his brain was still trying to process what had just happened.

"Welcome back," nodded Hajime, as he returned his phone back into his pocket. There was an open bag of chips in front of the older boy which Shuichi assumed he had been snacking on.

"So how was it?" asked Makoto, straight to the point, from his place sitting next to Shuichi. The boy looked at him with big expecting eyes so Shuichi decided to be honest with him even if he wasn't entirely sure on what the truth meant.

"Well, she said she wanted my surname."

To his confusion, the answer caused wide grins to spread among his clubmates faces.

"Hey, that's great!"

"You did it!"

Shuichi just sent a look of confusion to both of them. Maybe, they knew something he didn't. "Wait, but I don't think you can give a surname as a gift."

"What are you…" began Hajime but stopped when he saw the genuine confusion on the boy's face. "Are you serious?"

Before Shuichi could answer, Makoto asked another question.

"What kind of reaction did Akamatsu-san show when you told her?".

Shuichi turned to the shorter boy and replied what he could recall, "She was depressed at first but then she got a little angry by the end."

"That's right. It's only natural." Hinata nodded, understanding the pianist.

"I feel bad for Akamatsu-san." The luckster sounded genuine in his words.

"I…don't understand. Do you know what she means?"

Hajime turned to Shuichi, his face serious and his arms crossed. "Look, Akamatsu wanted your last name because she wanted to marry you."

"W-wha?!" Shuichi physically recoiled in surprise at the older boy's words.

"When, a woman gets married, they usually get the surname of the husband, right?" Makoto's explanation was much softer and less blunt than Hajime's but that didn't make any of his words brain-mushing. "Well, if the male can do it as well, but I'm sure Akamatsu-san just professed she wanted yours."

"E-even so…"

"In, other words," added Hajime. "Akamatsu wants to marry you and become Saihara Kaede."

"That's why she wants your surname," finished Makoto with a small smile on his face.

"S-Sai…Saihara…" Even though it was something he was born it, Shuichi found it surprising that how difficult it was to say his own surname at the moment.

"Hey, good for you!" Hajime directed a wide grin at Shuichi from across the table "To be loved that much by Akamatsu."

"Congratulations on your marriage," said Makoto along with light clapping.

"W-wait a moment! You're all saying that she wants to marry me but…such a thing…" Shuichi felt his cheeks on fire from embarrassment on the two boy's ribbing and the very idea that they were teasing him with.

"Well, did she say anything else?" asked Hinata.

"She said…" Shuichi recalled Kaede's last words. "She was expecting something on Christmas."

His words only returned his clubmates grins.

"Isn't that…" asked Makoto to Hajime who agreed.

"Yup…it's that." Hajime turned to Shuichi, one eyebrow raised "A man has to meet a woman's expectations, right? Especially the kind you get when you're married…"

"Ah…" Shuichi tipped his cap to cover his face, his mind supplying him exactly what kind of marital expectations a wife expected from her husband, especially those that happened at night.

A few seconds later, the detective's head hit the table with a thud as he fainted, his mind overloaded.

Makoto was the first to move, and held the unconscious boy up, to check if he was okay. He held the back of his hand to the younger boy's forehead. "It's hot!"

"Even though it's winter…"

With Hajime's help, the two were able to move the unconscious boy to the clubroom's sole couch.

"Man, he's really red." pointed out Makoto, noticing how flushed Shuichi's face was. "You think he'll be okay?"

As if he heard the question, Shuichu mumbled words that sounded like "Akamatsu-san", "Marriage", and "Cinnamon".

"He'll be fine." Hajime waved off as he headed to the door. "Besides, it looks like its my turn to ask."

Makoto nodded although he moved his chair so that he could sit next to Shuichi's prone body to look after him. "It's Nanami-san, right?"

"Yeah, it's just Nanami so it'll be fine. She'll just want a game or some kind."

"Good luck then!"

"I'm off!"

With that last note, Makoto watched as Hajime left the clubroom.

* * *

It wasn't hard to find the Ultimate Gamer. She in their usual spot by the fountain, sitting on a bench as she tapped away to her gaming console. That she was doing this while her eyes were closed and lightly snoring was just testament to her title.

"Oy, Nanami! Nanami!"

The girl awoke to the sound of her name. Heavy eyelids opened slowly to reveal pink irises. When they met his own, a soft smile grew on Chiaki's face.

"…Eh? Oh. Hinata-kun? Good morning."

"It's afternoon already. Also, don't sleep here or you'll catch a cold."

"That's…right…zzzzz"

"Don't go back to sleep!"

Hajime sighed at the girl's antics though he couldn't stop his own smile from growing on his face. It was just typical Nanami. He sat down next to her, making sure that she'd stay awake this time with a few shakes and nudges.

He waited for the girl to finish a loud yawn before speaking again.

"Anyways Nanami, I want to ask if you want anything for a Christmas gift."

The girl turned to him and tilted her head cutely. "Christmas gift?

"Yeah. I mean, you've always been helping me out since day one." Hajime turned away from her gaze, feeling slightly embarrassed. "So I want to get you something as thanks. Anything's fine."

"Anything?"

"Nothing too expensive, at least. Nothing like a game console." If he was honest, Hajime found buying just the games themselves to be somewhat pricey. Still, if it was for Nanami…

He turned back to her to see Chiaki with one finger on her lips as she looked up, clearly thinking. Hajime was already used to her, what he called, loading times, as she took her time to think about his offer. While he was happy that she looked to be taking it seriously, a part of him (his wallet) was worried how long she was taking.

Eventually she did move again but she first reached into her bag to take out a piece of paper before speaking up.

"Well, then…" Nanami handed the piece of paper to Hinata who took it in both hands. "…please deliver this to City Hall."

Hajime read the heading of the paper.

[Marriage Registration]

Hajime read the heading of the paper again.

[Marriage Registration]

He then flipped it over and rubbed his eyes, yet the words didn't change at all.

"Nanami…san." Hajime held the paper with the same carefulness and caution he'd give a detonator from Komaeda. "What on earth is this?"

"It's a certificate for marriage," stated back Chiaki, matter-of-factly.

"That's right, but what I mean is-"

"Look!" suddenly a hand entered Hajime's vision as Nanami pointed out something Hajime hadn't noticed as he still stuck at the top. "I already finished filling out everything, I only need Hajime-kun's stamp to finish it."

"Y-yeah, my name's already there, isn't it?" Also, the name of his parents, his home address and other things Hajime didn't remember ever telling her about. He didn't remember ever telling anyone in the school.

He forced his gaze away from the paper to the girl next to him. Chiaki looked at him excitedly, two fists held close to her chest.

"Let's go and submit it on Christmas!"

"No, well, this is a little…" Soon. Sudden. Unexpected. A lot of words could be used but Hajime couldn't choose one. He turned back to the paper in his hands then back at the gamer, her expression unchanging. "Wouldn't you normally want a game or something? Why a marriage certificate?"

"Does Hinata-kun not want to marry me?" To his horror, Hajime saw tears start to form in Chiaki's eyes. Naturally, he took his words back.

"It's not that I don't want to marry you. It's just-"

"Let's go on Christmas then!" Immediately, Chiaki was back to normal as she stood up to take the document back from his numb hands. "It's a promise."

With a small hum, the gamer walked away leaving Hajime along on the bench along with a pit of dread in his stomach.

* * *

* * *

When Hajime got back to the clubroom, Shuichi was already back up.

"Oh, you're back."

"Saihara-kun was resurrected."

"…" He just silently nodded at their greetings as he made his way to his chair to drop down on it.

Shuichi and Makoto exchanged glances at the silent behavior of their friend. He looked like a shell-shocked veteran who just came back from war. It was Makoto who decided to speak up first.

"So, what did Nanami-san want? Was it a game after all?"

"Marriage registration."

"What?"

Hajime looked down into his hands as if they held answers to the questions in his head. "She wants to submit a marriage certificate to city hall."

"Th-that's…"

"I'm…" Hajime audibly swallowed, as if he knew his fate was already sealed. "I'm going to marry Nanami."

"Wait wait! Weren't you just going ask what she wanted for a gift?!" Makoto knew he had to stop his friend's train of thought.

"Ah." It worked as Hajime blinked as if snapping out of a stupor. "That's right. I totally forgot!"

"It seems Nanami-san had full control of the conversation. How did such a conversation lead to the topic of marriage in the first place?" wondered Shuichi, completely ignoring how he was also in the same boat as Hajime.

"Maybe, she used hypnotism? Or Mitarai-kun's brainwash animation," answered Makoto, unsure as well. Either one, didn't seem to help his friend as Hajime held his head in his hands.

"Damn, how did this happen? I mean, I don't mind marrying Nanami but it's way too early!"

Makoto nodded. "Hinata-kun and Saihara-kun are still students after all."

"Wait, I haven't decided on that yet," spoke up the detective.

"But I think you and Akamatsu-san look suit each other."

"E-even if you say that…"

Makoto's reply got the boy detective to blush and look away shyly. He then turned to Hinata who looked to be rambling to himself on whether he should still bother proposing or not.

The luckster smiled wistfully at the sight. Shame he didn't have anyone like that for himself. It may be a good time to leave to get his mind off that idea.

"It's my turn then."

Saihara turned to see Naegi stand from his seat. "Who are you going to ask? Kirigiri-san?"

"Yeah. Although, I wonder if I'll get married as well," joked Makoto, enjoying the horrified expression that went over Shuichi's face. He had always found it amusing how intimidated Shuichi was to his fellow Ultimate Detective. Although, it wasn't like Naegi didn't also feel unease with Komaeda-senpai as well.

"W-with Kirigiri-san? Really?"

"It's just a joke. There's no way something like that would happen." Makoto waved off as he left the room. "After all, it is Kirigiri-san."

* * *

.Finding the female Ultimate Detective was easier than Naegi expected. It was actually quite fortunate that he had been able to find her at all as she normally was out of school when she was helping with a case. He had found her sitting along in the dining hall, drinking a cup of coffee. A bunch of case files were in front of her but she seemed to be in a break as she enjoyed the cup with both hands.

"Kirigiri-san!"

Makoto made his way to her table then taking a seat, silently waiting for her. The detective finished her cup before acknowledging him.

"Good afternoon, Naegi-kun."

"Yeah." He squirmed in his seat a bit, unsure where to begin. Also, the previous events were still fresh on his mind and made him strangely nervous.

"…Naegi-kun?" His nervousness didn't go unnoticed as the detective raised a single brow. "Do you need something from me? Take you time."

"Right." Calming himself and dismissing any weird thoughts from his head, Makoto took a deep breath before continuing. "I wanted to ask if you wanted anything for a Christmas present."

"A present, you say." Kyoko cupped her chin, in thought.

"Yeah, since it's getting closer to Christmas, I'd like to be able to give something to Kirigiri-san."

"Hmm. Wouldn't it be better if you found out yourself?"

"I guess." agreed Makoto, undeterred. He was already used to her being right anyways. "but I still want to at least ask if you wanted anything specific."

"Then I'll tell you what I told you a few months ago, I'm not used to being given gifts, so I have no real preference." Kyoko brushed her hair back, to show the glimmer of an earring. "Just use the same thought you put into my birthday gift as well, Naegi-kun. I quite liked them."

"But those are different! A birthday gift is something I want to give to you while a Chirstmas present should be something the recipient wants." Besides, it was hard enough thinking of and finding her a good birthday gift, he didn't need to go through that again.

"I don't think it's really that important, Naegi-kun." The Kirigiri crossed her arms as she stared him down. "why are you so insistent on getting me a gift in the first place?"

"Huh? Isn't it obvious?" Makoto blinked once before a simple smile as genuine as his voice covered his face. "It's because you're someone precious to me..."

"Naegi-kun…" His words warmed Kyoko's chest more than any heating pad or fireplace could and drew out a soft genuine smile she had found herself using more and more around him. Really, this boy…

"…one of my important friends."

"…Naegi-kun." His words cooled Kyoko's head faster than the icy winter outside and drew out a tired sigh she had found herself using more and more around him. Seriously, this guy…

Noticing her new frown, Makoto asked, "Is something wrong, Kirigiri-san? You look tired all of a sudden."

However, all his concern got was a small huff as the detective looked away from him.

"It's nothing."

"Really? But.."

"I said it's nothing!"

"Uh…okay." The luckster could only scratch his chin in confusion. From what he's learned with dealing with her, it was best to leave her alone when she got into a mood. The stoic detective could get surprisingly emotional when she got annoyed.

"…Now that I think about it, Naegi-kun. There is something I want."

"Really?! What is it?" Not expecting her to speak up so soon, Makoto immediately grasped the line she threw him in order to placate her mood.

"A ring."

"…what?"

"I want a ring." Kyoko stared, no glared, at his own eyes with the same hard scrutiny he had seen her use on potential culprits to get them to talk.

"So…a ring?" If he were to be completely honest, it was honestly frightening the amount of pressure she was directing at him. It had taken all of Makoto to just repeat what she was saying.

"Yes." Her nod was as sharp as her tone. She raised her left hand to show the back of a glove. "Specifically, I want a ring I can put on the ring finger of my left hand."

"Th-that's-"

"Naegi-kun." In one smooth motion, the detective stood up, gathering her files with one arm and her empty mug on her other. She sent him one last look, one that told him not to disappoint her or suffer the consequences.

"You can tell by now, can't you?"

* * *

"Oh you're back." Shuichi turned to the sound of the door opening to spot Makoto walking towards his chair, the same expression Hajime had earlier etched on his face.

"Did something happen?" asked Hajime even though he already had a feeling on what the reason was.

"Hinata-kun, Saihara-kun…" Makoto finally made his way to the couch before dropping down face first. "I was also swallowed by the flow of marriage…"

"After all!"

"You too, huh?"

"What am I going to do?" Makoto flipped over, face-up, to stare at the ceiling. "How much is an engagement ring anyways?"

Shuichi did a quick search on his phone. "Apparently, the average cost is around 300,000 yen.

"Th-three hundered thousand?!" exclaimed Naegi to which Shuichi could only give a solemn nod.

"I…I also would like to buy one for Akamatsu-san."

"That's just too much for us students," sighed Hajime as he rubbed the back of his dead. He was sure Nanami would also expect him to get one as well. "How are any of us supposed to earn that much before Christmas?"

The three of them shared a brief look of despair at the hopelessness of their situation.

"Well…" Makoto took out his phone to look up a certain number. Desperate times called for desperate measures and there was only one person a desperate Naegi would call. "I wonder how much Togami-kun would lend me. The interest shouldn't be that bad…"

Hinata opted to look down on his body. His still very healthy and functioning body. "Should…should I borrow money from Natsumi?

"Will that be okay?" asked Shuichi although Hajime could only give an unsure shrug.

"My organs will be fine…probably."

Shuichi nodded as he also tried to think of anyone else in his class that would be wealthy enough to lend him money. Well, first he had no idea how much being in a "secret organization" paid for nor did he know the extent of how much Miu got for her patents. "Maybe, Amami-kun would pay me if I help look for his sister?"

"Anyways," Naegi spoke up, feeling hope (and debt) start to grow once more within him. "Let's all do our best!"

""Yeah!""

**[Heroine trio wants to get married]**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: First part done. Three heroines for each character left. I honestly love Elvira's stuff even if most of it is OOC. I was heavily debating between this one or Love Hotel Go! for a pre-Christmas treat but went with this one as at least everyone's still sort of within character even if Love Hotel Go is much more fun but gets pretty OOC. This one also has more girls in it at least. Maybe, I'll do the latter in Xmas though I've already planned to write something for the despair sisters' birthday. And Naegiri week,if that's stil a thing.
> 
> Most of the original fic is literally just in dialogue format so I had to add more than usual. This is obviously my favorite part of the fic actually. Maybe, I'm just a canon whore who likes how well the main heroines were all made to be foils/compliments to the heroes. So sue me.
> 
> Next route: [It's normal to want a part of your lover's body, right?]


	2. It's normal to want a part of your lover's body, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own neither the story nor the characters. This is heavily adapted from the SS thread: さんたさんへ くりすますぷれぜんとはお○んぽみるくがほしいです！Also I have no idea on how Angie and other V3 characters refer to Saihara and vice-versa in japanese so I’m just going to wing it. Same with their writing. Winging it all.

The following morning, Shuichi got up early in order to find Rantaro immediately. It was actually not too hard to find the Ultimate Adventurist as, most of the time, he wasn’t actually on an adventure and just stayed in the classroom to have fun with the rest of his classmates. He also was usually the first to arrive in the classroom which would benefit Shuichi greatly.

Which was why, when Shuichi entered the classroom, he was disappointed to only find Yonaga Angie, doing some sort of meditation or perhaps a prayer, on her seat.

With nothing left to lose, Shuichi decided to go up to the Ultimate Artist to see if she knew where their fellow classmate was.

“Hey, Yonaga-san!”

“Oh, Shuichi-kun?” The artist opened her eyes to see Shuichi standing next to her. “Is there anything you want to ask of Angie?”

“I just wondered if you’ve seen Amami-san.”

“Rantaro-kun? Not today.” Angie looked up to him from her seat and spread her arms, welcoming and inviting. “But if you need help, Atua-sama welcomes all problems.”

“Ah, no it’s fine.” Shuichi unconsciously took a step back. While she was generally nice, sometimes Angie got a bit too…intense for him. He decided instead to change the subject. “Say, Yonaga-san. Is there anything you want for a Christmas gift?”

“Christmas?” The girl tilted her head and body in confusion.

“Yeah Christmas.” Shuichi nodded. “Do you not have Christmas back on your island?”

“There is no such Christmas on Angie’s island.” Angie shook her head before clapping her hands together excitedly. “Ah! But I do know what Christmas is! It is the night where the Santa Claus kills all the naughty children and gathers their blood, correct?”

“Th-that’s wrong!” objected the detective, already wondering where Angie got such a twisted meaning of the holiday. “While others celebrate it for religion, Christmas is mainly so you can celebrate with your important people by exchanging presents with one another.”

“Then does that mean Angie’s important to Shuichi-kun?” The Artist squished her two cheeks together with her hands, slightly shocked. “Do you want to exchange presents with me?”

“Of course.” Angie was after all one of his important classmates and friends. “So if you want something, don’t hesitate to tell me.”

“Nyahaha!” Angie’s two hands went into the air as she exclaimed her excitement loudly. “Then can Shuichi-kun make me his wife?”

Shuichi felt a sweat drop down his head. Really? Was this some sort of new trend going on with the girls. “Um…anything but that.”

His dismissal of her proposal didn’t seem to bother the girl as she stood up to and raised a finger, her eyes ominously darkening. “Then I want Shuichi-kun’s blood.”

“My blood?” Was it weirder that Shuichi wasn’t surprised by her sudden marriage proposal or that he wasn’t surprised that she wanted his blood? “Are you going to use it for a ritual of some sort?”

“Nope!”

“Hmmm. Then…perhaps you have anemia? I’m sorry to say but a transfusion from me to you wouldn’t work.” Shuichi was type AB while Angie was type A so she couldn’t use his blood though he could use hers.

“Silly Shuichi-kun! Angie just wants to drink your blood! Directly.”

“Drink…my blood?”

“Yup! I’m sure your blood will be delicious.” Her eyes reflected no light as she stared at him and Shuichi resisted the urge to cover his exposed neck. “Don’t worry! No worries! It won’t hurt too much.”

“Th-that isn’t the problem here.”

“The blood of Shuichi-kun mixing with Angie’s own blood and flowing through every inch of Angie’s body” Angie threw her head back to laugh loudly. “Nyahaha! I’m excited just imagining it!”

It was that exact moment Shuichi’s feet remembered they existed as he bolted out of the room, hopefully to be able to find Rantaro soon. As he left, he swore he could hear her chanting “You will not escape. You will not escape.”

“Angie and Shuichi-kun will finally become one…”

* * *

 

Before going through with trying to borrow money from the Kuzuryuu clan, the first thing Hajime knew he had to do was to get his organs checked to see if they were all still well and functioning. There was no way he’d take any risks of upsetting the Yakuza. Thankfully, he had a friend who could help him.

Though, really, Mikan was a bit too insistent on helping examine his body.

“Really, Tsumiki, it’s fine.” It had taken forever but Hajime was finally able to button his shirt back up even with all the help that the nurse had tried to offer (force) onto him.

“I’m sorry!” wailed Mikan as she stepped back. “I’m sure you didn’t want to be touched by someone like me!”

“Don’t say that. You really helped me out.” Kind as his words were, they did nothing to calm down the girl’s grievances although, at this point, Hajime knew to expect that of the girl.

“Then.” She looked out of the hands covering her eyes, hoping. “Is it really okay to touch you?”

“…sure. When I need medical help, at least.” added Hajime immediately at the end, not liking the dangerous glint he saw gleam in her eye for a second. Also, there was a good chance he was misunderstanding something, so he decided to instead change the subject.

He turned his green eye to the girl who was still fidgeting in place and cleared his throat.

“Hey Tsumiki, is there anything you want?”

“What I want?”  Mikan looked at him wide eyed. She repeated what he said with a curios tone, as if the phrase was something she hadn’t come across before.

“Yeah,” Hajime nodded. “I mean, for Christmas of course. I’d like to get you something for a gift.”

“E-eh! I-I don’t deserve something like that!” The nurse looked absolutely shocked and, oddly enough, terrified that he had offered her such a thing. One hand fiddled with her the bandages wrapped around her other.

“You’ve always helped me out whenever I get injured. See to it as me returning the favor.” Which was oddly common, now that Hajime thought about it.“

“No…I-I didn’t do anything special.” She withdrew herself even more, her shoulders scrunching up and her arms close together. She, at least, still held his gaze. “T-there’s no need. Allowing me to help is good enough for me.”

“C’mon, isn’t there anything you want?” Hinata continued insisting, forgetting what happened the last time he offered the “anything” line. “I’ll do my best to help you. We’re friends after all.”

“But…but…” This time, his words seemed to finally get through to the girl, denial making way for just hesitation.

“There’s no need to rush, think slowly.” Mikan mutely nodded at that, her bangs covering her eyes.

Hinata smiled in relief though, now that she was silent, he also had time to think up on exactly what would she want. The obvious would be things related to her talent such as medical equipment which way outside his budget. Bandages perhaps? At least those were cheap.

After a more seconds of silence, Mikan finally spoke up again.

“Th-then…if that’s the case…there really is something I want.” Her voice sounded awkward. She was so unused to using words like that that they sounded practically foreign. “W-what I want is…”

“Go on..” prodded on Hajime, feeling like he really did have an Ultimate Councilor talent showing up once more. Mikan looked back up at him once more, her eyes begging.

“What I want is…Hinata-san’s hair!”

This time it was Hajime’s turn to contribute to the silence. He just sat there still not really able to process what he just heard. Mikan just stared back at him waiting patiently with her hands clasped together, much like a faithful follower. He swore her round pupils became heart shaped for a moment.

“You mean…” Hajime patted his head and held a brown lock. “This kind of hair right. The stuff growing on my head”

“H-hai!” half-yelled half-moaned Mikan. Was this even still her? “I-it doesn’t have to be from your head though!”

“…what are you going to do with it?” Hajime never pegged Mikan as the type to be part of the occult so probably not voodoo. Maybe, she wanted to use it for wigs? To help cancer patients? Or just bald people? That was something a nurse did, right? That somewhat made sense.

“I’m going to eat it.”

Too bad Mikan refused to make sense. The worst part was she looked so delighted too. He didn’t have the heart in him to tell her off. He did at least have enough sanity to ask he why.

“Well, hair is made of keratin which can’t be broken down by our stomach,” explained Mikan, shyly looking away while pushing fingers together like a school girl in love. Only instead of a crush she was talking about ingesting hair. His hair. “So, If I eat Hinata-kun’s hair then it will continue to stay in my body for the rest of my life.”

Again, no words came from Hinata’s mouth as Mikan’s soft giggles were the only thing that filled the room.

“It’s as if Hinata-san and I can become one…”

“Wait.” Hajime tried to think of a rebuttal. “Wouldn’t it just…leave later on.”

“Ufufu.” She turned her eyes at him, no, above him, and Hajime swore he saw drool. “Not if it’s something big and thick like your antenna!”

On reflex, his two hands went up to cover the large strand of hair. “Please not that.”

Hajime looked to the left then to the right. Nope, the nurse coincidentally stood in front of the only path outside of the clinic. It looked like he had no choice. Maybe he could still cut through her words before he had to do some actual cutting.

“Hey, Mikan, isn’t there anything else you want besides my hair?”

Two empty orbs of iris looked away to the side yet for some reason, Hajime still felt their gaze pierce him. An empty voice drawled out, “If hair won’t work, then I guess I can always take Hinata-san’s sperm directly to my ute-“

“No, hair’s fine! I’ll make sure to use some fruity shampoo so it’ll be tasty!”

“Fufu~ Christmas will be fun!”

* * *

Now, Naegi Makoto knew he wasn’t exactly the sharpest tool in the toolbox nor was he exactly the brightest, most especially compared to his some of his other classmates. However, if one still compared him to the certain others in Class 78, he was an absolute genius.

In other words, the main point to draw on were his classmates and, after a good night’s rest, he had soon realized that, if he thought about it, it wasn’t only the Togami heir who should have a good amount of money. There were those who had royalties like Yamada and Fukawa or those whose talents could translate to a livelihood such as Junko and Celes. Maybe, if he divided the large amount between a number of them, it wouldn’t look that bad? He needed to talk to someone about it before he went and sold his soul and pride to the Togami dynasty.

And, of course, if there was one person he knew he could rely on, it was the person he’d consider his first friend upon entering the school.

“Maizono-san!”

The Ultimate idol turned to see Makoto approaching her. While it was a rare day that she could actually take some time to rest from her busy workload, she had still found herself ending up in the school’s music room first thing in the morning. While it was just something out of habit, it at least allowed Makoto to find her fast.

Maybe, it was just his luck?

“Morning, Naegi-kun!” Sayaka shot Naegi a smile that instantly filled him with energy, just one of her abilities as being the Ultimate Idol. Since he went out of his way to go to the music room, the luckster clearly wanted her to be the first person he saw after waking up. “You’re pretty up and about so early.”

“Well, most people usually are by now” Naegi replied when he finally made his way up to her. “You don’t have any practice today, Maizono-san?”

“No. Although, I can’t help but feel a little bad when I don’t do anything. It’s like I’m skipping practice!” Sayaka giggled, holding a hand up to her mouth. She spied the concern on Makoto’s face then quickly spoke up, “It’s okay, Naegi-kun. I’m not pushing myself too hard. [Full-on resting] is also part of the Ultimate Idol’s 765 abilities, you know?”

“Ah…yeah. You do work harder than any of us.” Makoto quickly nodded. He already gotten used to how the idol could almost skip through their conversations just by reading him fast enough. He had to wonder however if the frequency she that did was just because he was getting easier to read or her so-called psychic powers were evolving.

“Hmm. I wouldn’t say that.” Sayaka’s expression turned serious. “I do think there’s one other person who has been developing their talent more than anyone else.”

“Really? Someone from our class?” asked Naegi with genuine curiosity. With how cut throat and talent-focused Sayaka’s job was, he had always thought she was the one who worked the hardest among them.

“It’s you, Naegi-kun.”

“Wha-“

“To be able to meet up and chat with an idol so early in the morning, some would say you’re pushing your luck. So talking with me is almost the same as developing your talent” Immediately, Sayaka’s voice returned to its cheery tone along with a wide smile on her face. She sent him a small wink. “Then you can count on my help anytime, Naegi-kun.”

“It’s nothing like that, Maizono-san.” Naegi looked away, slightly embarrassed. While he didn’t really believe in developing luck, she was right that it was amazing that someone normal like him would have the opportunity to talk to an idol like her.

“It’s not even much of a talent compared to Komaeda-senpai.  Even if you were right, I wouldn’t want to bother you too much.”

“Yet it’s okay when it’s Kirigiri-san?”

 “What?”

“Hm?”

Naegi turned back at her to see Sayaka silent, her eyes and mouth smiling. Did he imagine that last part? They stood there in silence for a few seconds before Naegi decided to be the first to speak up. “So you’re busy on Christmas right, Maizono-san? I’m sure all idols are busy then.”

“That’s right. My schedule is filled to the brim with work.” Sayaka replied, a hint of pride in her voice. She raised a finger, as if she was giving a lecture. “You see, Naegi-kun, there’s nothing better for an idol than a full schedule. That means she, or he, has many jobs which means that she is wanted by many people and in demand. Jobs are the lifeblood of idols, after all.”

“As expected of Maizono-san!” exclaimed Naegi, genuinely happy for his friend’s achievements. However, his expression then fell from excitement to strain. “But then…”

Of course, this didn’t go unnoticed. “What’s wrong?”

“No, it’s silly.” Naegi shook his head before bowing it slightly. “I thought I’d be able to spend Christmas and exchange gifts with Maizono-san (along with everyone else).”

Immediately, the girl turned around and drew out a phone. She typed the first number assigned on her speed dial and held it up her ear.

“Hello, Manager-san? Please clear out my Christmas schedule. That’s right the whole day.”

“Impossible? There’s no impossible for Sayaka Maizono. Please use any method you can to get me out of those jobs.”

“Reason? My happiness as a woman is on the line. Please do it without any complaints. Good.”

She turned back to Makoto.

“Guess what, Naegi-kun? It seems all my Christmas jobs have been cancelled!” exclaimed Sayaka, not seeming to be bothered about her announcement at all. “Looks like we can spend Christmas together!”

And of course, Makoto, being Makoto, bought it all. “Really? But why so suddenly though?”

“It may be your luck’s fault, Naegi-kun.”

“R-really?” Makoto took a step back in recoil before tilting his head. “This is bad luck, right?”

“Who knows?” The smile on Sayaka’s face was mysterious but playful, all coy. “But you should take responsibility, right? You have to make sure I get the best Christmas gift an idol could get.”

“W-what is it?” If Makoto wasn’t nervous before, he was now. After all, just what can he give her that could satisfy her as the Ultimate Idol. He already needed to look for money.

“It’s something I absolutely want.” Sayaka paused for a moment before looking away from him, a slight dust of natural pink on her cheeks. “It’s…a bit embarrassing.”

“Don’t hold back, Maizono-san. We’re friends after all.” Even if Naegi was worried for his wallet and his future, he knew that he’d still try to get her what she wanted. He’d do it for all of his friends.

“R-really?” She looked up to meet his eyes, her blush intensifying yet her azure gaze remaining steady. “Then…”

At that moment, Makoto knew that the person he was talking to wasn’t Maizono Sayaka, the Ultimate Idol, but Maizono Sayaka, the girl who he attended the same middle school with and was his first friend at Hope’s Peak.

“Naegi-kun…”

It may have been rude and insulting but the girl in front of him was cuter than any idol he had seen before, including herself.

“…I want to drink your cum.”

Makoto turned around and left the room.

Or he would have if the surprisingly strong hand of Sayaka didn’t grip down on his shoulder.

“Where are you going, Naegi-kun?”

“Sorry,” apologized Naegi, not daring to open his eyes. “I thought I heard something crazy, so I’m headed back to bed. I must be more tired than I thought.”

“Don’t worry, Naegi-kun. All you’ll have to do is stand up.” Sayaka’s voice was as light and healing as the grip on Makoto’s shoulder was heavy and painful. She shot him a look of determination. “I don’t mind drinking it straight!”

“M-Maizono-san!” Naegi felt his face threaten to light on fire. “An idol shouldn’t say such things!”

“It’s okay, Naegi-kun! Semen is the lifeblood of all idols!”

“Please apologize to your fellow idols!”

“Don’t worry, Naegi-kun. Ayaka was the only one of us who did those sorts of things.” Sayaka looked up, wondering, one hand going on her lips. All the while the grip on Naegi’s shoulder never wavered. “For some reason, she was the only one they wanted. She was always the prettiest among us.”

“M-maybe you need to rest too, Maizono-san. You’ve been too stressed from your jobs?” offered Naegi as he tried and failed to get out of the girl’s grip. “Th-that’s it, right?”

“Ah! That’s right. After I drink your milk, you can drink my love juice!” Sayaka pointed at him, the finger almost touching his nose. “You know, Naegi-kun. The best number to flip over isn’t 11037 but 69.

Makoto had never been more relieved to see Akamatsu Kaede walk in and distract Sayaka enough to escape.

He’d be sure to prepare them a good wedding gift.

* * *

Three boys sat together around a bare table in an silent club room. All three of them shared the tired and worn down expression.

“Blood. She wants to drink my blood,” moaned Shuichi, his head falling into his bridged fingers. “I wonder if I should eat more liver.”

“Hair. She wants to eat my hair,” groaned hajime, his head hanging backwards as he leaned into his chair. “Should I go to a hairdresser, then?’

“Sperm. She wants to drink my sperm,” mumbled Makoto, his head prone as he laid it on the cool surface of the table. “I guess that means no eroge for a while. I guess I should take more zinc? Where do I even get that.”

Together, all three sat up straight and turned to the person on their left.

“Why would anyone eat hair in the first place?” asked Shuichi to Hakime.

“To have an idol drink your sperm. What kind of eroge do you live in?” asked Hinata to Makoto.

“Is Angie-san a vampire or something?” asked Makoto to Shuichi

“Really…this school’s amazing.”

“Are these really the preferences of Ultimate high schoolers?”

“I’m pretty sure, all the things they want are way too much, even for Ultimates.”

The worst part was that none of them were able to borrow money anyways.

Together, they all released a deep sigh.

**[It's normal to want a part of your lover's body, right?]**

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Wew. This one was actually the shortest group word-wise, the psycho-heroines. I really expanded on this one. Mostly cause I wanted to write some Naegizono. Though to be honest, you could exchange Maizono and Kirigiri and the groups would still make sense. I mean, have you read Kiri’s school mode? She’s real thirsty, that girl. Maizono’s def the most “turned up” of the bunch but, eh, that’s Elvira for you. 
> 
> And for the main heroine fans out there, yes, they’ll still appear later but we need to give the other girls their own love as well. 
> 
> Next Route: [The exit of a date is the entrance of a Love Hotel.]


	3. The exit of a date is the entrance of a Love Hotel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own neither the story nor the characters. This is heavily adapted from the SS thread: さんたさんへ くりすますぷれぜんとはお○んぽみるくがほしいです！

Shuichi sighed from his seat in the dining hall. Lunch break was almost over, and he still hasn't been able to find Rantaro. The detective was halfway to giving up at this point, already finished scouring the school twice. He was already thinking of just if the pay for being one of Miu's guinea pigs outweighed the danger (to his chastity) when a steaming cup of tea was placed in front of him.

"You look troubled, Saihara-san."

The detective looked up to see the ever-serene face of Kirumi Tojo.

"Did I really, Tojo-san? Sorry." Shuichi took the moment to take a sip of the teal. As usual, it was perfectly blended. He felt the warmth reinvigorate him from within. "Did you need something?"

"Actually, it is I who wishes to offer you my assistance, Saihara-san." The maid took the seat opposite to Shuchi. She turned her ace to him, dead serious. "It would be a dishonor for a maid if they ignored such a troubled look to a person they were serving."

"I…I see." Shuichi nodded. He covered his mouth as he started to think. He didn't think he could ask her about his money problems. She was a maid, after all. However, Kirumi was without a doubt one of the few people in his class that, at least for a maid, had a good amount of common sense. It wouldn't hurt to ask her. "There is something I want to ask you."

The maid nodded, giving him a look that promised he had her full attention. Shuichi always appreciated that though he guessed it just came with being the Ultimate Maid.

"Do you want anything for Christmas?"

"Christmas, you say?"

"Yeah, I'd like to give back to Tojo-san." Shuichi offered a kind smile. "You're always helping me out and doing these small gestures."

"I'm just doing what I'm supposed to do as a maid," denied Kirumi.

That was true. For a moment, Shuichi wondered if he had offended her. Of course, for her, being the Ultimate Maid was something that she wanted to do. For her, it was like he wanted to repay her for simply breathing. Still, he'd like to show some appreciation.

"Then at least allow me to repay you for this tea." Shuichi gestured to the cup of tea in front of him. "You didn't do that because of a request as a maid, right?"

"Hmm." The maid hummed for a moment before sighing even if the expression on her face looked satisfied. "It is as you say. Just so you know, a cup of tea poured by the Ultimate Maid is worth around 100,000 yen."

"Wha-."

"Just a joke, Saihara-kun." Kirumi opened her eyes and showed him a softer smile.

"Right." Shuichi forced out a chuckle. As usual, her humor was too dry. "So, is there anything you want?"

Kirumi just stared silently back at him, her face tensing up.

"Tojo-san?" Shuichi waited curiously. It was rare for the stern girl to hesitate. Perhaps it was just the rare occasion of being asked what she wanted for once? Or was the question just too sudden. "You don't have to answer immediately. I can come back-"

"No!" The sudden increase in volume Kirumi's voice made Shuichi stop from getting up. The maid raised a palm to him, signaling him to pause. Her other hand went to her mouth as she coughed. "I apologize for raising my voice. Just…give me a moment."

"…Sure." Shuichi relaxed back into his seat as he patiently waited for the maid to think. He took the opportunity to finish the tea, only slightly less hot.

After a few moments of introspection, Kirumi looked at him with the most serious expression he had seen her with.

"I would…" Kirumi raised one gloved hand to cover her chest. "I would like to go on a date with Saihara-san."

Shuichi furrows his brows, unsure if he heard wrong. "I'm sorry, you said-"

"A date." Kirumi repeated, her face unchanging.

"A date where a man and woman go out together?"

She nodded. "That kind of date."

"I…I see." Shuichi shifted in his seat, feeling oddly nervous. "And you want one with me?"

Another nod. "A date between the two of us would be my most preferred choice as a gift."

"But…" Shuichi turned his face away from her unwavering gaze. "why me? Surely there is someone more appropriate for you? I'm not even your master and not much of a detective."

"Nonsense." denied Kirumi. "I do not have to be your maid to know that Saihara-san has great character. You're deductive and intelligent yet you're greatest strength is to be able to emphasize and care about others. You may feel yourself inferior to the other Ultimate Detective due to this, but I find it a more attractive trait for someone I'd want to serve."

"T-tojo-san." Shuichi felt his face threaten to catch on fire from her praise. The worst part was that she said it with such a straight face and level tone that it was hard to believe she wasn't genuine.

"So please don't belittle yourself, Saihara-san. You...are a wonderful person." Her eyes met his once more and a lovely smile graced her face. It was a smile unfitting for an Ultimate Maid who served all as this one was reserved for one sole person. "I won't go out of my way to serve my tea to just anyone for free, as you said earlier. Are will you also question my evaluating abilities as the Ultimate Maid?"

"Tojo-san…"

"So, will you answer my request?"

"…yeah."

* * *

After the whole incident with Mikan, Hajime decided he needed some normalcy. Some balance. Also, maybe a shower. He then went to the best person he thought he could rely on for some normalcy in his life. Someone, he knew, wouldn't get weird on him. As great as the 78th class was, some days he just needed to relax without any Hope speeches or, more recently, hair-eating nurses.

Unfortunately, Peko was gone so he settled for Mahiru.

"Somehow, I feel like you just thought of something incredibly insulting." The Ultimate Photographer stared at him warily from across the table. Her glare was soft, more suspicious than angry.

"You're just imagining things," waved off Hajime though the girl still took another moment to scrutinize his face before backing off sighing.

Mahiru raised a hand, an annoyed expression on her face. "So, why did you call me?"

"Well, I feel like I just needed to see you," answered Hajime honestly. The girl's aura, while prickly, was oddly calming much like his own mother's. "A lot's been on my head lately."

Mainly, his hair. He'd like to keep it that way.

"R-really?" The girl's scrutinous gaze was back. Although this time it was much softer, helped by the light pink of her cheeks. Her hands went behind her as she slightly turned her head away yet maintained her gaze. "And what do I have to with that?"

"You know how Christmas is coming up?" Hajime rubbed the back of his head. "I recently found out that I have no idea what girls want."

Really. He didn't.

"And you wanted to know what I wanted?"

"Yeah. I need to know you want for Christmas." Hajime nodded, his eyes clear and honest. If there was one person who'd want something normal, it was Mahiru. While he didn't think she'd want a new camera, maybe she'd like a bag for her current one.

His words however only brought a long sigh from her mouth. The redhead massaged her temples with one hand, shaking her head. She was clearly disappointed.

"Did I do something wrong?"

"Jeez, this guy." Mahiru raised a finger at him, her lecture mode switched on. "You shouldn't be asking people directly and upfront! Part of the fun is the surprise when opening. If you really wanted to ask someone, you should ask their friend or family."

"Y-you're right." Hajime leaned back on his seat. "I guess, I should have been subtler, right?"

"Yep. Jeez, what's with you boys and your lack of delicacy." The girl stepped back, satisfied she got to him.

"I've never had any girls to give gifts to before," confessed Hajime, hoping to explain himself more. "I thought it would be best to ask directly."

"At least you know better now, right?" Hajime nodded which made Mahiru's expression soften. With a blush on her cheeks, she shifted in her seat. With narrowed eyes, she glared at him across the table, eyes oddly filled with something resembling expectation and hope. "So next year, you can get it, right?"

"Next year?" asked Hajime which the girl responded with a nod keeping her head down in the end.

"And every year after." She looked up, her blush already making it hard to see her freckles. " I don't expect you to get it this year but you better do it properly in the next ones."

Hajime blinked. Could it be? Did she already know he was getting married to Chiaki? Was this her way of giving him advice? Of course!

"Yeah. I promise." Hajime answered with as much conviction he could give her. His answer, for the first time since the conversation began, finally satisfied her as she sighed in relief. Good. He really had to thank her for her advice. "So, just for this year, can you tell me what you want for Christmas? Since I already asked."

"Well…" The girl looked from one side to the other before finally locking eyes on him. "I want to go to Hinata's house."

"My house?" Again, another curveball. "Don't you want a bag or anything?"

"Nope. I just want to go to the house you and your parents live in." replied Mahiru, her hands fiddling with her camera on her lap. "I'm interested in where you grew up."

"It's pretty boring back there," answered Hajime honestly. He didn't even live in some old backwater town or something. Just a simple apartment block in the city. It wasn't even like he had any friends. "All I know back there are my parents."

"That's perfect then." exclaimed the photographer, holding up her camera in emphasis to her next words. "We could go around the city after and take some pictures!"

Hajime really didn't know where she was going with this, but it was much easier than the previous two. Besides, he already was planning to go back for the holidays at least. Maybe he lived near a good photo spot?

"I'll tell my parents then but is there really nothing else?"

"Nope! Thanks, Hinata!" The girl sent him an excited smile that he wouldn't dare attempt to break. It was so rare to see the uptight Koizumi look so excited, so childish. It suited her better than her usual tired frown.

Hinata sighed, a smile also spreading on his face. He could leave it to Mahiru to ask for something simple. This definitely wouldn't be something he'd have to worry about. Also, was this a date of some sort?

_'It's time to appeal to Hajime's parents. I'll demonstrate all the housework skills I've polished till now! I You have to make sure they like you! Absolutely, don't miss this opportunity, Mahiru!'_

Nah.

* * *

"Donuts are fine."

"…Huh?" Asahina Aoi turned to see the smiling form of Naegi Makoto, a confident and sure smile on his face.

"It's only going to be donuts."

"What?" asked Aoi but the boy seemed to be in his own world as he continued to stare at her while nodding to himself.

"Rather, it's to the point where it could be nothing else but donuts."

"Hold up!" exclaimed the swimmer, confused on the boy's actions. "What are you talking about?"

"Well, then." Makoto lifted his right hand in a salute as he turned around and then started to walk away. "Please expect a lot for Christmas."

"Wait, what? Hold on, Naegi!"

It wasn't too hard to catch-up to the boy and to let him explain what on earth was he talking about. Although after his explanation, Aoi wasn't sure if she regretted the whole conversation or not.

"Jeez! IF you're going to ask about Christmas gifts, ask properly!" chastised Aoi to the currently kneeling Makoto. This was also to make sure that he'd have to look up to her as she told him down.

However, Makoto just looked up at her with genuine confusion. "But I know it's going to be donuts without asking. Asahina-san only eats donuts, after all."

"I eat other things than donuts!" exclaimed Aoi. Was this really how people saw her? She pouted as the boy actually had to think about it but lit up when she saw he finally thought of something else.

"Ah, you probably eat protein as well, right?" Naegi nodded sagely. It was obvious that the two best friends would introduce their favorite foods to each other. "Then I'll try to give you protein donuts. I'm sure Oogami-san knows a recipe."

He moved to get up but Aoi used her two arms to keep him back down. "Wait a second! In the end, it's still donuts!?"

Makoto sent her another look of confusion. "Isn't it because when you think of Asahina-san, one thinks donuts? If we take away the donuts from Asahina-san, then all that would be left would be your breasts…troke."

"Hey! I do more than just the breast stroke! I can do all techniques perfectly!"

"But isn't Asahina-san also part of six different clubs?" pointed out Naegi. "That kind of lessens your impact as a swimmer and more of a general sports girl."

"T-there's nothing wrong with that!" argue back a Aoi. She glared at Naegi. "What's wrong with you today, Naegi? You're being way too mean!"

Immediately, the boy deflated, hair and all. "It's Togami-kun's fault. I borrowed some money from him and he wanted me to annoy you."

"Jeez, that guy's still such a jerk" Aoi crossed her arms and pouted. "So he told you to tell me all that stuff about donuts?"

"Uh, sure" Naegi scratched his chin. All the scion had told him was to provide the blonde some form of entertainment. Naegi didn't know what kind so he thought maybe he could annoy Aoi a bit as the girl would get on his case. She wasn't the only one but Naegi thought she'd be the most forgiving. So, all he said was ad libbed.

"Why do you need money anyways?" asked Aoi as she helped him up. Just like that all her anger was gone and replaced with her bubbly nature.

"Christmas gifts."

"Oh, I see." Aoi nodded. Makoto was rather friendly. She wouldn't be surprised if he intended to gift the whole student body. "And you asked that guy for money?"

"Yeah. It's not too bad though." Naegi nodded. Thankfully besides entertainment, the scion had also accepted some weird crystal skull Naegi had gotten from the school's gacha machine. It was a pretty good deal if he could get the gift Kyoko wanted. Speaking of which, "Do you want anything Asahina-san?"

"Me?" The girl actually looked surprised before waving him off. "It's fine Naegi. I'm sure you've got a ton of other people asked."

"Actually, I've only asked Kirigri-san and Maizono-san."

"What did they want?"

"Kirigiri-san wanted a ring."

Aoi tilted her head in confusion. "Huh, how unexpected. So Kirgiri-chan's also interested in those sorts of things."

She then thought it could be one of those decoder rings, she's heard about. A tool like that would be useful for a detective.

"What about Maizono-chan?"

"That's…" Naegi looked away, his face going slightly paler and more haunted. "That's something I can't say."

"Why not?"

Naegi's only reply was more silence to which Aoi decided to leave be. Maybe, it was something weird? Aoi didn't know much about idols so she dismissed it.

She instead started to think about what she wanted or Christmas. Christmas. Christmas. Wasn't that a day where most couples go out on dates and stuff? She couldn't ask for donuts as she was just made fun of the idea so she might as well try something she'd always wanted to do.

"Hey, Naegi. I don't need any presents or gifts. Instead," The swimmer swallowed, suddenly finding it harder to speak and get the words out of her mouth out. "There's…I want something from Naegi."

"What is it?" The boy just smiled at her, eager to please.

"Well…" Aoi felt her gaze unconsciously turn away from the boy. She suddenly found his gaze hard to maintain. "I'd like to out together somewhere."

"Is there a specific place you want to go to?"

"No. Not specifically. I mean…" Aoi shook her head, her ponytail swishing along. She turned her gaze back to him, her face feeling sunburned. "I just want to walk around a Christmas-tinted town with Naegi at night."

"Huh?"

"N-not that there's any deeper meaning!" Aoi waved her hands in front of her before she moved them behind her back. "It's just, you know, couples always go out on Christmas, and I always see them, so I'd like to try it with Naegi."

"Asahina-san…"

"Naegi's always playing with Hinata and Saihara and I'm always with Sakura-chan. Sometimes, I want to just talk when it's just the two of us, you know." She leveled her eyes at him, the two of them around the same height so she didn't need to raise nor lower her head. She held her breath and asked, "How about it?"

"So in other words, "Naegi met her gaze. "You want both of us to go on a Christmas date?"

Aoi didn't say anything but did give a quick nod.

"Okay." Naegi smiled, filling her up with hope and something else she wasn't sure of. "Let's go on a date then."

"Really?!" Aoi practically jumped in place. Was jumping in place. "You'll go? Yosh! Let's do this!"

"Do you have a place in mind already?"

"Of course!" Aoi pumped her fists. "I want to see the city's Christmas tree! You better prepare yourself, Naegi!"

Naegi just nodded, happy to see his friend so energetic. He stood there fully corrected. Asahina Aoi really wasn't just about donuts after all.

* * *

In the clubroom, two boys were excitedly talking about their date plans. Although, one of them was pacing back and forth, more anxious than excited.

"What do I do?" Shuichi asked himself as he paced the clubroom. "I've never been on a date before."

The door then opened to reveal a tried Hajime, a phone still in hand. "I'm not sure why but my mother started crying when I told her I'm bringing a girl home. We're just going there for a while before looking around the place anyways."

"Just bring her to a restaurant and enjoy dinner. It'll be fine." Naegi spoke up, hoping to calm Shuichi down. "That's what I'm going to do after our walk."

"Yeah, you're right." Finally, Shuichi got back in his seat, relaxing. "Sorry, I'm just nervous. It's just Tojo-san not the prime minister of Japan or something. I shouldn't worry too hard in impressing her."

Hajine nodded, liking the easy mood in the clubroom. "Everything looks to have gone fine this time."

"It's because the previous people were…intense." Shuichi shuddered. "Compared to them, Tojo-san is like a goddess of tranquility."

"At Hope's Peak, Asahina-san, Tojo-san, and Koizumi-san are top class common sense-wise,". Explained Naegi. "They really set your mind at ease."

"It'd be nice if everyone was like them," murmured Hinata

His two clubmates shook their heads together.

"That's impossible.

"Very impossible."

"….Yeah."

**[The exit of a date is the entrance of a Love Hotel.]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Common sense heroines. The ones who you know have their heads screwed tight and you can rely on. Of course, they simply just want a date. These are like the "oh they're pretty okay" pairings. I actually like Hinakoi more tbh. I changed/added Koizui's one the most. The request was still the same but it was because she had learned of the marriage and went psycho so I made it more fluffy to fit the overall tone.
> 
> There's really no schedule in the original so you can say previous chaper was morning, this is lunch break, and next is afternoon if you want to make sense of it. I suggest you don't however and just roll with it.
> 
> Oh god, the next batch is going to be painful in many ways. They are the last group of heroines before the big Christmas date. I'm only thankful Elvira didn't use Himiko.
> 
> Next route: [NBR is the thinking man's incest]


	4. NBR is the thinking man's incest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own neither the story nor the characters. This is heavily adapted from the SSnote thread: さんたさんへ くりすますぷれぜんとはお○んぽみるくがほしいです！by Nori/Elvira. Tenko and Angie speak in third person in the jap dub so I went with that. Also, even though this is meant to be in the TDP world, Mukuro and Junko exist so just roll with that. Also, Mukuro calls Junko Shikoko-chan or Tateko-chan or something but I just go with Junko-chan.

Shuichi sighed as he placed the cleaning supplies back into their proper locker.

Today, wasn't something he'd call a success as he could not find Rantaro no matter how hard he looked. He hadn't even gone to classes although it was rare for everyone to as it wasn't mandatory. They were mainly something to do for those who didn't have anything to do.

The detective had to stay behind as it was his turn for clean-up duty. At this point, he had already given up getting Kaede a ring. It wasn't like she specifically asked for one, right? He shook his head to end his musings and approached the person paired up with him from behind.

"I'm done, Chabashira-san-woah!" It was only by a hair's width, but Shuichi barely avoided the arm that had reached out for him.

"Saihara-san, please don't suddenly speak to Tenko from her blind spots." Tenko relaxed from her tensed state, lowering her palms that almost delivered a painful punishment to the boy. She didn't look the least apologetic as she berated him. "If you need to talk to Tenko, please approach from the front! Don't blame Tenko if you're thrown across the room."

"Yeah, sorry," apologized Shuichi even if he didn't feel like he needed to "Good work, at least. We're done here"

"Well. Tenko couldn't leave Himiko alone with a degenerate male like yourself!" Tenko nodded back. She eyed him suspiciously. "I already know the kind of 'cleaning' that's on your dirty mind."

"It's not like that. I appreciate you coming here, at least." In all honesty, Shuichi preferred Tenko over the self-proclaimed magic user. Tenko was diligent and got the job done as efficiently as possible which as better than Himiko lazing about. If it was Himiko with him right now, he'd still have another hour to go. He should find someway to thank her for both him and Himiko.

"Say, Chabashira-san. Do you want anything for Christmas? It's the least I could do."

"Christmas Gift!?" His question sent Tenko a few steps back as she raised got into a battle stance once more. "Are you going to do something suspicious to Tenko? What's the catch, you degenerate male?"

"What are you talking about?"

"All men are wolves underneath!" She sent him a leer, as if she was entirely in on his degenerate plans and wanted to lord him over her knowing it. "I'm sure you're going to offer to give Tenko a baby or something, aren't you? Worse, that you'd make me give birth to even more males?!"

"That's wrong!" sputtered Shuichi. "I'd never want to do that!"

"Then you're saying Tenko's body has no charm?!"

"W-wha-Wait. Calm down." Shuichi forced himself to stop so he wouldn't get caught up Tenko's pace. He raised his hands in assurance. "I just want to give you a thank you gift. For Christmas. Something, you'd want."

After a moment of scrutiny, the Aikido master finally lowered her hands. Hopefully, she believed him this time. She still eyed him with wariness, but she at least settled down. "Anything Tenko wants?"

"Yeah. I'll do it to the best of my ability."

It only took Tenoko a few seconds to think of what she wanted to which she exclaimed. "Then I want Saihara-san to become my test dummy."

"A test dummy?", asked Shuichi.

"There are a few new techniques I've developed that I'd like to try on males." Tenko posed, excited. "Saihara-kun is the perfect build I'd like to apply it on."

Shuichi tried to remember all his experiences with Neo-Aikido. Unsurprisingly, all of them were painful. And these were ones she had mastered and known were non-lethal. "Uhh, do you want anything else?

"You don't have any guts." Tenko sighed. "Typical for men."

"I don't think it has to do anything with being a man. Anyways, anything that doesn't hurt."

Tenko's face morphed into a serious expression as she looked him up and down, scrutinizing. "Tenkko thought of something good."

Shuichi had a bad feeling but silently nodded. The girl tensed up as she told him her answer.

"Saihara-san, please become Tenko's older brother!"

"Brother?" Of all the thing's asked of him, this one was the weirdest so far. Not just the how but also the why.

"Yes."

"Not just a brother, but an older brother?"

"Either is fine." Tenko responded with more force in her voice than usual. "Tenko just wants Saihara-san to become her brother!"

Still seeing that the detective was confused, Tenko lowered her head to explain while she pushed her two pointers together.

"I've always wanted an older brother. Someone I can rely on to guard my back. Saihara-san is usually not that reliable but, when it comes to your reasoning and finding the truth, Teko knows no one else better to depend on. I'll let you be my older brother so be thankful."

Shuichi rubbed the back of his head, not too sure if he should accept such a random proposition. "If you want someone reliable, Kaito is-"

"Definitely not."

"Well, what about, Amami-kun? He already has-"

"He has his own little sister to look after."

"Well, Hoshi-san is-"

"Saihara-san." Shuichi's protests were stopped when Tenko put a hand on his shoulder. A rare but fitting gentle smile graced her face as she told him, "Tenko wants Saihara-san to become my older brother. No one else."

"…am I really okay?" asked Shuichi, this time meeting her gaze. Her olive eyes only showed understanding and acceptance.

"it couldn't be anyone but Saihara-san."

"Then, uh, I'll do it." Shuichi agreed, even if he wasn't exactly sure what exactly he agreed to. He never had any siblings, so he didn't know what to do about it. His agreement did bring a wide smile onto Tenko's face as she waved her fists in joy.

"Really? Really? Then please call me Tenko from now on." She then pointed at him. "You'll also be Shuichi onii-san."

"Wha-?" Shuichi looked away, oddly embarrassed at how she called him. "Is that really necessary, Chaba-"

"Tenko." The girl butted in. "Please call me by my name."

"Ugh." Shuichi saw how serious the girl was and forced himself to say her name lest he get thrown once more. "um…Tenko…san."

"There's no need for formalities."

"Then…Tenko," choked out Shuichi. He felt like his face was on fire. However, Tenko wasn't satisfied as she rebuked him to say it better.

"More clealrly!"

"Tenko."

"Louder!" She said this as she gave a heavy slap to his lower back. Shuichi straightened up and half-yelled into the thankfully empty classroom,

"Tenko!"

"What is it, Shuichi-niisan?" Satisfied, Tenko got closer to him and wrapped one arm around him. Both the way she had called him, and the action made Shuichi's face go red.

"Hey, can't you go back to how you normally call me?"

"It's no use." Stubbornly denied Tenko, half covering her mouth with a flat hand. "Today, I've finally gotten the older brother I've wanted so I'll say it as much as I want."

Shuichi could only sigh, knowing there was no use arguing with the girl who could easily flip him if he ever got her mad. On the bright side, Tenko was much friendlier than usual. Sure, the way they addressed each other was too close for him, but that was all it was at least, right?

"Alright, let's head for the baths!"

Wrong.

"Wait a second. What are you talking about, Chiba-Tenko?" Shuichi turned to the girl clinging on to his arm whose expression only showed a combination of excitement and innocence.

"In order to deepen our bonds, we have to take a bath together naked!" Tenko nodded to herself, as if remembering something. "It's something Master told me siblings do."

"Wait wait wait. There's something wrong here!"

Tenko tilted her head, frowning at his resistance. "Isn't it normal for siblings to take a bath together?"

"Only when they're younger! We're already in high school." Not that Shuichi would personally know but he thought such things were commons sense. "Also, we're not even related by blood."

However, no matter what he said or how much he struggled, the iron like vice of Tenko's arm around his didn't budge.

"You said you weren't interested in Tenko's body earlier right?" That actually got the detective to pause as he remembered what he said earlier. "Then it's just a matter of Tenko putting up with Shuichi-oniisan which Tenko is willing to do."

Already, Shuichi could feel her dragging him away from the classroom to no doubt a place with a bath. He knew he had no chance to resist. For a second, Shuichi thought he should scream for help. Throw away the last of his dignity to escape this honeyed trap.

Well, he did just so but no one ended up coming to help.

"Also, Tenko's hands may unintentionally seduce you by wanting to touch you all over so please do your best to endure, Shuichi-oniisan!"

* * *

Hajime Hinata perked up when he finally got back to his dorm's corridors. Soon, he'd be back to his dorm room where he could hopefully sneak in a quick nap before he had to go out to eat dinner. Thankfully, Mikan and the other girls hadn't shown up at class that day but that didn't mean he was still feeling hesitant to meet them again so soon.

Reaching his room, he unlocked the door to see the last thing he wanted to see.

"Welcome back."

:"…what are you doing here?"

Saoinji Hiyoko lounging on his bed, reading some of his manga. Candy wrappers surrounded her, littering all over his bed and the floor underneath. She hadn't even looked up when she said her welcome.

After Hajime stepped inside, closed the door, and took of his shows, she finally put her manga down and sat up on the bed.

"Ah! Hinata-nii!"

"What are you doing in here?" asked Hajime, not really wanting to ask the bigger question on how she got inside in the first place. He knew he wouldn't like the answer to that.

"I came offering a gift." Hiyoko gestured to the side of the room where a few boxes of what Hinata knew to be high grade kusamochi.

Hinata gulped. She knew he couldn't say no to those sweets only someone of the Saionji family could acquire. He knew that she knew this, yet he also knew he'd not be able to resist. The worst part of all this was that she knew about this weakness, so she abused it as much as possible.

This was a bribe.

This was a bribe to join her in some mischief and be her muscle and scapegoat.

"You know," Hajime furrowed his brow, trying to convince himself that for once, he'd resist temptation. Santa won't come to girls who act naughty."

Hiyoko just scoffed at what he said, a mean leer on her face. "Don't tell me you still believe in Santa? At your age?"

"Fine then." Hinata nodded in feign resignation. "I'll just tell him not to get any gifts for Saoinji Hiyoko."

"What?" The girl perked up at that, almost looking worried. "Hinata-nii get me a gift?"

"I was going to, but I've changed my mind." Hinata closed his eyes, determined. "I won't give gifts to a bad girl. I'm sure Koizumi would understand."

"Ehhhh. Stingy!" The girl hopped off the bed and made her way to him. She glared up at him and poked his chest. "Hey, give me a gift!"

Hajime shook his head, still going along with his farce. "Santa won't give a gift to a bad child, so I won't give you one until you reflect on your actions properly."

"I'm sorry." Less than a second later, an apology came out. It was as fake as it was fast.

"That was an awful apology," rebuked Hajime but the girl didn't look bothered at all, rather she looked more annoyed.

"I want a gift! Hey! I already apologized so please give me one!"

"Fine but I don't have one yet." Hajime held up a hand before she could let out her outrage. "If I got you something you didn't want, you'd just complain right? So it'd be better if I just asked you upright."

His answer seemed to have pleased the girl as she smirked up at him, "Heh, Hinata-nii's gives up pretty easily"

Hajime let the dig slide. "Anyways, just tell me if you want anything. And, I'd like to emphasize, it has to be within the range of common sense and won't harm me or anyone else."

"Boo!" His restrictions caused her to pout although it was soon replaced with a thoughtful look. "Hmm, I wonder…"

Hajime allowed her to think as he sat on his bed, moving all the wrappers to one side.

He really hoped she wasn't up to any mischief and wouldn't ask for such. The last time he helped her he was the one who had to kneel and silently endure Mahiru's two-hour long scolding all while the blonde got away with it all.

"I've decided!" Hajime turned to the dancer who was looking at him expectantly.

"I want Hinata-nii to become my real older brother?"

Hinata blinked, confused. "Don't you already call me that?"

"Buu, that's different!" Hiyoko glared at him. "I mean, we'll really become brother and sister! So you're going to pamper me as you should!"

"…don't I already do?"

"Also, I'll start calling you Onii-chan from now on and you can start calling me Hiyoko." The girl paused in her excitement before showing a rare sign of hesitation. "It's okay…right?"

As much as Hajime wanted to argue, he knew he didn't have it in him too.

"It should be okay."

"Yay!" Hiyoko raised her arms in celebration before walking over and sitting on his lap." Thanks, Onii-chan?"

Hajime just looked down on her, confused with her actions and not really sure what to do next. Thankfully, the dancer already had a plan.

"Please rub my head, onii-chan!"

"Oh, uh, there there." A palm was placed on the top of blonde hair before gently moving back and forth. Hajime wasn't too sure he was doing it right, but the girl seemed to enjoy it from the small giggles he could hear her release.

It was actually kind of cute. While it was surprising, it was still much better than any pranks or mischief. Hajime could get used to this.

"There there.." He continued his rubbing, marveling at how soft and silky her hair could feel.

After another minute of headpatting, Hiyoko turned her head to look up at him. "Hey, Onii-chan."

"What is it?"

"Don't you want to take a bath together?"

Hajime's hand topped just like his brain at the suggestion. "What?"

"Let's take a bath!" The girl turned her body so she could wrap one arm around his torso. "I'll wash Onii-chan's back so please scrub every corner of my body in return."

"Wait, we can't do that."

"Why not?"

"Well, we're high school students. To take a bath together is…" If Hajime could squirm he would but Hiyoko was still sitting on him. The girl looked up at him, the glint in her eyes easy to mistake for innocence.

"But we're brother and sister now, right? I don't mind."

"Well, I do," To his response, Hiyoko covered her mouth with one long sleeve of her kimono, a large teasing grin barely hidden.

"Does onii-chan find my body sexy?"

"W-what?" Hajime reeled back from Hiyoko's teasing grin."

"That's right. That's right. Onii-chan is a lolicon so may attack my young body if I'm not careful."

"You've got that wrong! I'm not-"

"Well, the it's okay to take a bath together." Hiyoko got up and wrapped her fingers around one of his arms, pulling him in the direction the room's bathroom.

"Wait, don't pull so hard!" Hajime complained yet he still got up, unable to overpower a girl much shorter than him.

He already knew he was screwed and if he took it back she may take the mochi back with her. He couldn't have that.

He just had to endure it. It's not like he was a lolicon anyways. He preferred big breasts. He liked developed girls. There was no way he'd be attracted to the underdeveloped body of Saionji Hiyoko.

He could endure this.

"Onii-chan! I don't know how to take this thing off. Please do it for me."

He could endure this…?

* * *

It was in a lone corridor that one Ikusaba Mukuro found herself alone. She was in a a certain corridor that was barely used. She was there waiting for her twin sister, not really caring how the model was an hour later for their meeting.

While it'd be easier to say Mukuro was used to it by now, the more accurate description was that the soldier didn't mind the wait at all. After all, she put her sister was the one person she'd do anything for and, as long as she wasn't told otherwise, she would wait for hours more. She had gone through worse when she was back in Fenrir.

Mukuro glanced around, noting the lack of people. Even looking outside through the corridor's windows, she didn't see or sense any other person close by.

With the least amount of movement possible, she reached into her skirt's pocket to pull out a photograph. She looked down on the photo to see the smiling face of a certain lucky classmate of hers.

"Naegi-kun's cute," she murmured to herself, allowing her gaze to lap up the image held in the photo. She had taken the picture without his knowing but any guilt she felt for that was thrown out whenever she stared at it.

After a few moments, she tore her stare away from the picture and back around the corridor once more. After confirming that nobody really was there, she held the photo with both hands and raised it up to her face.

She puckered her lips and slowly brought it closer.

"Oh, Ikusaba-sa-"

Whatever Makoto was about to say was cut off by the survival knife that narrowly missed his skull, sticking to the wall a few inches above his head.

"Ah, Naegi-kun!" Seeing this, the soldier immediately rushed to the boy. "Are you hurt?'

"uh, yeah, I'm fine." The boy nervously chucked to his narrow escape from death. "it didn't hurt me or anything.

"I'm sorry." Mukuro bowed her head, her tone clearly apologetic. "I was surprised and threw it on reflex."

It's fine! It's my fault I called you out then." It did rub his antenna though which was at least a close call. "It's rare for Ikusaba-san to be surprised. What were you looking at?"

"Um, nothing." The sudden question caused Mukuro to freeze up, not realizing her real reason was still being held in her hand. This didn't go unnoticed by the luckster who spotted something in her hand.

"Really? Well then I'd better…Chance!" Cheekily, Makoto swiped away whatever the girl was holding in her hand. This would be normally impossible if Mukuro wasn't as nervous at that moment. He ignored the girl's surprise and examined what he stole.

"Wait…isn't this me?"

"Y-you're mistaken." In less than a second, the photo was back in Mukuro's hand, an uncharacteristic panic in her eyes.

"It's fine, Ikusaba-san." Makoto's voice held no tease nor anger. "I mean, it's well taken. Much better than the times I try to take my own. Did you take it."

Not expecting such a reaction, Mukuro just replied automatically. "…No. It was Junko-chan who took it.

Makoto nodded in understanding. "That's right. Enoshima-san's good at taking photos. Maybe, that just comes with being the Ultimate model, right?

"Um, Naegi-kun, you're not mad?"

"About what?"

If her sister was here, she'd berate Mukuro for allowing herself to take the bullet that she had just narrowly avoided. However, curiosity got the better of her. "I mean, I was carrying around a picture of you."

It was to Mukuro's benefit that she had ignored all the times Junko had told her to put on lipstick or she'd be in deeper self-destruction.

The boy didn't look angry as for him it didn't seem like there was anything to forgive. Actually, he sounded relieved even. "It's fine, Ikusaba-san. I don't mind. This may help me out…"

"But…"

"Because I also have pictures of Ikusaba-san."

"…Eh?"

"Here."

Makoto reached into his parka to hand over Mukuro a photograph of similar make and size as her own. Only this time, it was the sleeping face of the soldier who was the subject.

She felt her face heat up and immediately looked up for an explanation at Makoto who wore an apologetic expression on his face.

"W-where…"

"Ah, Enoshima-san gave it to me." Well, it was more like Makoto found it in his locker at the end of the day. It also had a note that it was from the model and that he could use it for material.

"Junko-chan?!"

In a sense, Mukuro shouldn't have been surprised by now but she still somehow was. She looked closer at her own picture. It showed her sleeping form in her pajamas which consisted of a light tank top and loose shorts. She hadn't worn a bara because she felt she didn't need to due to her lack her sister's assets. Also, the line of her underwear could be seen over the rather snug bottoms.

It took another second for Mukuro to realize that Makoto had seen her like this as well. That he had roamed his gaze all over her form over her body.

"Ikusabas-san?" Makoto looked down on the short haired girl who was now squatting down with her hands covering her face. "Um, anyways. I wanted to apologize for seeing you like that. I mean, you didn't know so I felt bad and wanted to return the picture to you."

That didn't seem to help the girl at all as she didn't move from her self-made shell. Makoto frowned, at the sight. Mukuro had helped him out a ton over the year and he didn't think to see her in such cringe-induced despair.

"Hey, Ikusaba-san. I'm really sorry again so I'll give you a present."

This got a stir from the ball below him. "Present?"

"Yeah." Makoto nodded, smiling even fi she couldn't see him. "After all, it's almost Christmas Eve. That's important to you and Enoshima-san, right?"

His words finally got Mukuro to look up, her face only slightly red. Rather than embarrassment, a small glimmer of surprise and hope lit up her eyes. "Pehaps…did you remember?"

"Of course!" Naegi insisted, happy that it was working. "I wouldn't forget your birthday after all."

"…I'm happy," she murmured to herself before a soft smile broke through the usually stoic face of the soldier as she finally stood back up.

"So, do you want anything, Ikusaba-san?"

"Me?…um…" Mukuro looked away, awkwardly rubbing the tattoo on her left hand. "It's enough that you remembered my birthday."

Makoto, however, wasn't satisfied with just that as he moved closer, eyes determined. "You can't say that! I mean, it's your precious birthday so we have to celebrate something."

"Naegi-kun…"

"So, is there something you want?" Mukuro looked into Makoto's green eyes, so full of hope and determination, that she knew she couldn't go against them. In a way, they were completely different yet completely the same as her sister's.

"I can't really think of one so suddenly." Her reply didn't seem to bother Makoto too much as he looked like he'd wait as long as possible which he confirmed with his next words.

"Don't rush it. This should be something you want so take your time."

"Well…" Mukuro, then got to thinking.

…

Makoto kept quiet as he waited for the dark-haired girl to speak once more. It had already been thirty minutes since he suggested it yet she was still silent. She, at least, looked like she was thinking hard about it. He wondered if maybe she just wanted used to it and if they celebrated birthdays and Christmas in mercenary groups.

From his own experience, Mukuro was actually pretty simple, liking things like water or small cat hair clips. It was the opposite of her sister who he didn't seem to like anything. Actually, Junko seemed to enjoy watching him roll the gacha machine more, taking pleasure whenever he threw all his money and got nothing useful.

"….chan."

Makoto's ears perked up as they picked up a faint sound coming from the silent soldier.

"…Oneechan."

The luckster heard it again, this time sure it came from the soldier. He concentrated, trying to hear the girl's whispered rambles to herself. He could barely make out what she was saying but there was one thing that he regularly could make out.

"Mukuro-oneechan?" His sudden words caused Mukuro to stop and to turn to Makoto in surprise. "Ikusaba-san, what did you mean by that?"

"…so you heard?"

"Yeah."

"Embarassing…"Mukuro felt almost the same level of shame as she did earlier. She disliked how hot her cheeks were but it wasn't so bad that she wanted to run away yet. "If I tell you, can you promise not to laugh?"

Makoto's face turned serious as he nodded solemnly. Mukuro couldn't help but think he looked cute doing so. Like kid bracing for a vaccine shot. She swallowed before continuing to speak.

"Well, Junko-chan doesn't really treat me like an older sister."

Makoto silently agreed. While it was true that he believed the model looked to have some sort of attachment to her twin and probably cared for her in her own way, it would surprise many to think Mukuro would be the elder twin with how little respect Junko showed her.

"So…I…thought…" Every word released caused the soldier to flush even redder. "I could wish that Naegi-kun can become my younger brother."

"So you want me to treat you as my older sister?" Makoto asked. He wasn't too bothered by the request. In fact, Komaru had teased him to do so to her when she started to eclipse his height.

The soldier shyly nodded before stopping and then shaking her head. "Never mind. I'm sorry, said something weird."

Mukuro immediately turned around to walk away but she felt a hand grab onto her wrist. She would've swatted off the hand or twisted it around if Makoto's next words didn't cause her brain to stop.

"Mukuro-oneechan, wait!"

"Guh" Suddenly, the girl stumbled mid-step and fell to her knees. Makoto knelt down next to her, worried.

"What's wrong?" he asked but all he got for a reply was a raised palm, telling him to stay away. Mukuro took a moment to compose herself before she answered back. She gestured with her head to the windows outside.

"Right then…there was…a sniper. My heart couldn't bear it."

"Eh?!" That was all Makoto could exclaim before he covered his own mouth, worried his yells may draw more attention. His next words were a whisper. "Is it really okay, Mukuro-oneechan?"

"Guh!" As sudden as last time, the girl lost all her power as she fell like a puppet with its strings cut. He knelt next to her and held her back up with one arm, hoping that this was nothing too serious.

"Hang in there, Mukuro-oneechan!" However, as genuine as his words were, they only seemed to do the opposite effect as the Mukuro grabbed her chest, her face strained and breathing heavy. He looked her over, but he couldn't find any wounds. "You're still okay! I don't see any wounds."

"I'm…sorry…" Mukuro caught Makoto's worried look with her own soft one, her eyes losing focus by the second. Her breath was weak but tense, as if she was using the last of her life to leave him words. "That I can't protect you now…does that …disqualify me as a sister?"

"Don't speak! Help's on the way! I'm sure of it!" cried out Makoto, hoping she'd not give up, but he already knew it was too late. Even if she was facing him, her gaze was much further away by now.

She opened her lips, her voice the ghost of a whisper. Makoto made sure to cling to them, to bring them with him for the rest of his life.

"My last…moments…are with…Makoto…" Mukuro smiled, satisfied. "At least…. I wanted us to…. take a bath…together."

"Onee-chan? Mukuro Onee-chan!" With one last sharp inhale, the final blow was struck and Ikusaba Mukuro lay still in Naegi Makoto's arms. The boy shook her once, twice, then, when she didn't respond anymore, he let out a primal roar of grief."

"Uwwaahaaaaahhhh!"

"…what the hell are those two doing?" asked Junko to no one in particular, as she observed the two from the end of the corridor.

* * *

It was the end of the day and three boys were having dinner at ramen stand outside the school. The three sat next to each other side by side, slurping noodles. Today's ramen, the three noticed, was extra salty or maybe that was just their tears.

"I...I resisted temptation. I didn't do it." sighed Shuichi as he raised his bowl to drink some of the broth.

"It's the opposite for me. If I did something, I may cross a line I'd never return." Hajime picked up a piece of chasu from his bowl and brought it into his mouth.

"Uuuuu...Oneechan." Naegi just continued to slurp his noodles, his eyes teary.

"Oy, Saihara. What did you do." Hinata pointed his chopsticks to Shuichi.

"I didn't do anything! I endured the temptation with a will of steel!" rebutted Shuichi even if he and Tenko bathed together fully naked. "What about you, Hinata-san! Should I start writing up a report?"

"Hey! Our bath was pure!" countered Hinata even if he had rubbed under Hiyoko's armpits and behind her knees.

"Uuuu" Makoto continued moaning at their side. "I wanted to take a bath with my sister as well. I should call Komaru and have one with her. Uuuuuuu…"

The other two just glared at him

""Noisy!""

**[NBR is the thinking man's incest]**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: And that's the last one. This one got pretty long and was the longest section among the four. As for other girls like Celes, Himiko, etc. Maybe, next time. NBR also means Non-blood related btw. The naked thing being emphasized is just cause in Japan you could have take a bath together with towels.
> 
> This one was kind of weird for me. I liked all three parts but I have to wonder about the Tenko part. I get that it is part of her Love Hotel but I still kind of wanted to see more reasons she'd want one this. I'm the type that thinks Tenko isn't a manhater and is just very naïve as evidenced by her lines. If she was genderbent, she'd be a boy who hates girls as he'd seriously believe they'd have cooties. Maybe, that's it? I dunnow. On Mukuro, I think she definitely feels too shy and somewhat OOC for me (from the IF interpretation rather than the DR3 one I mean). I actually do like Naesuba so I may have too much expectations for it. And, No, Mukuro isn't dead.
> 
> Next chapter is a Christmas Eve date with the main heroines and the climax in a sense. Kinda.
> 
> Next end: [Death is spelled with D-A-T-E with some H in the end]


	5. Death is spelled with D-A-T-E with some H in the end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own neither the story nor the characters. This is heavily adapted from the SSnote thread: さんたさんへ くりすますぷれぜんとはお○んぽみるくがほしいです！by Nori/Elvira. This whole chapter was written with the song “Foul Play ni Kurari” on loop hour hours. It’s not really necessary but that’s what I used for the fluffier parts.

“I should’ve known you were here.”

“Ah, Saihara-kun!” Akamatsu Kaede turned from her seat to see the capped form of Saihara Shuichi.  She raised her hands and gently lowered the lid of the piano in front of her. “How was it.”

“Great as usual.” He replied and Kaede knew immediately that it was a lie. He was obviously too nervous and that hadn’t heard a single note she played. After all, her performance just now was subpar from her own nervousness. Her heart was beating a different metronome than what the piece required.

Once more, it was just the two of them. This time they were in the music room at her request. All he messaged her was how he wanted to talk to her alone tonight. On Christmas Eve. Daring to hope, Kaede dressed herself up.

The pianist stood from her seat, making sure the black baret topping her head, didn’t fall. She made her way to him, her plaid scarf fluttering behind her. Shuichi watched silently, almost mesmerized. When she finally made it to his side, she just looked up at him, expectant.

“You look nice,” were the first words that came out of his mouth. Kaede looked away, feeling her cheeks heat up despite the rather cool temperature of the room. He looked nice as well, the brown jacket a different look from his usual black attire. He had even replaced his cap with a blue beanie.

“..thanks.”

“Akamatsu-san, your face is red.” Shuichi pointed out of genuine concern, seeing the small patches of red on her usually pale cheeks. “Are you cold?”

“No, I’m just a bit exerted, that’s all.”

“Really?” He sent her a worried look. “It’s natural to get a cold during winter. If you’re feeling sick, please tell me.”

“I will.” Kaede raised two fists in earnest, to dissuade his worries. Her fists then unclenched as she pushed two fingers together. She swallowed. “You told me you wanted to talk to me?”

“Yes.” His back straightened as his face went serious. “I have something I’d like to tell Akamatsu-san.”

Kaede shivered. Something about this was different than normal. After all this time, partly due to his own insensitivity, she hadn’t been able to make any progress with him at all. Just the thought of him sent her heart beating like a bumble bee in flight.

This seemed to be it. It seemed something had finally gotten past his head and he had made a decision. But, of course, it didn’t mean she was free. It was very possible that he just thought of her as a friend. Just the thought made her want to shut herself off and play Clair de Lune.

“…mats…”

“Akamatsu-san!” Kaede blinked, not realizing she had zoned out. She looked up to see Shuichi, his face showing clear reservations. “If you’re feeling unwell, then maybe we should…”

“No!” Her shout rang echoed throughout the empty room, startling the both of them. Kaede coughed once to compose herself. It wouldn’t do to scare him off now. “I mean, really, I’m fine. Saihara-kun. So. Please. You said you wanted to tell me something?”

“That’s right.” Nodding, Shuichi closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he opened them once more, they were full of resolve.

“Akamatsu-san, do you want to go on date tonight, on Chirstmas Eve.”

“Wha…a date…” Kaede repeated the words he just said, unsure if hadn’t imagined them herself. “You’re serious?”

“Yes. I want to go out with Akamatsu-san on Christmas Eve.”

“And this is just between the two of us?”

“Yes.” Shuichi nodded once more. “That’s what a date is right?”

Kaede moved closer to him, examining his face for any lies. “Momota-kun and Harukawa-san won’t show up?”

“No.”

“Really?”

“Really, they won’t.”

“And this is really a date?”

“Yes.” Shuichi had to raise an eyebrow at all the questions she was sending him. “Are you really okay with going on a date with me?”

“I am! I am! I really want to!” assured Kaede

“Then, why do you sound like you’re doubting me?”

“It’s because I didn’t expect to be asked out on a date by Saihara-kun.…” She looked away, her face showing slight regret for doubting him. While she did dress up, that was more of her hoping for a miracle than anything.

“But you said you were expecting…” That got a nod from the pianist but also a frown as she half pouted half glared at him.

“That’s because you’re so insensitive! You’re always going with Haraukawa-san and Momota-kun!”

Shuichi rubbed the back of his head, not sure how to appease the blond. “That’s the second time you’ve called me insensitive.”

“That’s just natural because I’ve been throwing my appeal to you for a while now!” Kaede raised a finger.  She crossed her arms, her pout getting worse. Unfortunately, Shuichi was still as clueless as ever.

“What do you mean by appeal?”

“You didn’t realize at all! Every time I asked you out to go to the pool or a festival, you always brought along Momota-kun and Harukawa-san!” The girl stomped one foot, her boot making a loud thud sound as it hit the floor. As happy as she was for them, she couldn’t help but be annoyed that Maki and Kaito getting together was at the cost of her own love life. “I wanted to have fun with only the two of us.”

“But,” Shuichi argued, still confused. “Isn’t it more fun if there are four people than two?”

“That’s Saihara-kun is insensitive!”

Kaede’s exclamation actually got Shuichi to step back, mostly in worry for himself. This didn’t go unnoticed as Kaede moved closer to him, her chest pressing against his, as she looed him straight in the eyes. Her eyes met his, her gaze daring to drown in her own pools.

“So this time, it’s only two people?”

“Yes. Yes.” Shuichi nodded with more vigor than he had ever done in his life.

“Really really?”

“It’s true!”

“Really? You’re really telling the truth?”

“Promise!”

“Hoh?” She took a step back, her eyes still questioning. In the back of his head, Shuichi missed the soft warmth he had felt on his chest a moment ago. Still, now was not the time for those sorts of thoughts. He had a girl to convince.

“Please believe me, Akamatsu-san!” Shuichi put one hand on his chest and extended his other. ”Trust that I’d tell the truth!”

“Well, there have been way too many disappointments.”

“Were there really that many?” Shuichi tried to remember something that sounded like what she implied but he drew up a blank. Maybe, he really was as she said. “I really can’t remember any.”

“There were a lot!” The girl somehow showed both disappointment yet kept her previous annoyance on her face. “I was heart broken so much I had to get counseling from Gekkhougahara-san.”

“I see. I’m sorry.” Shuichi averted his gaze. He hadn’t realized just how much he had hurt her. Maybe, he didn’t deserve to go out with her. Excuses to leave were already being formed in his head when he felt a warmth envelop right hand.

He turned to see that it was Kaede’s own that had grabbed his. Gone was the anger and disappointment from her face replaced with a gentle yet proud smile. “

“It’s okay. It’s all okay because I was invited on a date by Saihara-kun.” Kaede squeezed his hand, the feel of her delicate fingers playing with Shuichi’s heartbeat as easily as any song’s tempo. “My appeals weren’t a waste.”

“Akamatsu-san…” was all Shuichi could breath as his mind went to work memorizing the feeling of his hand in hers.

“I’m counting on you, Saihara-kun. That you’ll be able to make up for all the disappointments tonight.” The pianist looked up at him, her cheeks flushed and her smile expectant. It would be obvious to anyone, even to someone like Shuichi, that this wonderful girl somehow fully believed in him. “I’ll make sure to receive properly.”

“Yeah.” Shuichi smiled back, a rare confident smile on his face. If she believed in him that much, then he had to make sure it had merit. “Leave it to me!”

“I will.” Kaede took a step back, reluctantly letting go of his hand. Her own felt oddly cold without his. “So do you have any plans?”

This caused the smile to falter on Shuichi’s face, though it held on unsure. “Well…not really.”

“You could have hidden that better,” chuckled Kaede. Well, she couldn’t really blame him as she herself had no idea what she wanted to do. “I’m sure we can think of something though!”

“That’s right.” Shuichi then wrapped his finger around his chin in thought. “Hmm. I’m still not sure if I should propose to Akamatsu-san or not.”

“Eh?”

“Ah.”

Kaede’s exclamation of surprise met Shuichi’s own of realizing he may have fucked up. They both held a silent gaze, neither moving for a second until,

“Pu-pu-pu-propopo?!” was the only thing that came out of Akamatsu Kaede’s mouth, her eyes wide in surprise. Shuichi could only bite his tongue, not trusting it to not slip as he watched the girl’s face turned a dangerous shade of red. “You…are you really going to…pu…propose…?”

“I-it’s different.” Shuichi denied unconsciously. This caused the girl’s face to freeze for a moment before he could literally see the blood drain from it as it went from red to pale.

“…different…” The girl bowed her head before mururring, “So you don’t want to…”

“Wait! I mean..thaat’s different too! I mean…” Caught in his own mistake. Shuichi did the only thing he could do: Pull down his beanie and squat low, hoping the earth would spontaneously swallow him up. “Ah, I failed. I was planning to propose at the end of the date and now it’s all ruined.”

He continued squatting, trying not to cry on how big a failure he was. Maybe, the truth should remain a secret after all? He was thinking about the best way to resign as a detective when he heard laughter.

“Fu…Hahaha!” He looked up to see Kaede holding her stomach laughing. “Ahahahahaha!”

“A-akamatsu-san?”

“I’m sorry, Saihara-kun but...” The girl covered her mouth, failing to block to some stray giggles. “I can’t believed you spoiled your own proposal.”

“Please don’t laugh.” If Shuichi felt like he wanted to die earlier, now he felt like he had never been born. He was sure his face was entirely red.

“Hahaha…but it’s so funny!”

Shuichi moaned, stretching his beanie down even lower. He wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

“It’s very Saihara-kun.” Keade’s laughter was all but gone though there remained some mirth in her voice. “You’re usually so dependable too. C’mon, that’s enough.”

The blonde bent low to grab Shuichi’s shoulders and pull him back up. There was little resistance to her hoisting though he still refused to face her even when he was back on his feet. This worried Kaede for a moment until he suddenly spoke up, his tone surprisingly determined.

“…Akamatsu-san.” Eventually, he did turn back to her to meet her gaze. “On the real thing, I’ll make sure to propose properly.”

“…Of course.”

The two shared a smile, small grins spreading across their faces as they stared at each other. The mood that was ruined was back and they both felt themselves being swept away by it. So overtake by the surprising turn of events and the mood, that Kaede dared to ask a question.

“By the way, I want to hear your opinion on something…” Kaede forced herself not to look away, even when she felt the heat creep up her neck.

“What is it?”

“Well…” She took a deep breath, trying to calm her heartbeat and match it with her mind’s inner metronome but it was no use. “Um…Children..”

Shuichi furrowed his brows, not really understanding. “Children?”

Kaede’s gaze was nervous, pushing her fingers together, as she nodded. “How many kids do you want…”

“…what?”

“I said, I wonder how many children does Saihara-kun want,” repeated the pianist, both of their faces getting redder with every word.

“W-what?”

“Because I’ll do my best!” Kaede held up two fists. She would have looked smug If It wasn’t for the blush on her face the wobble on her smile. “I-I’ll do my best to give birth to Saihara-kun’s b-babies!”

“Ah…yeah.” Shuichi looked away, unable to face her declaration. Even so, he at least had to respond to her courage with is own. “Maybe, if possible…a boy and a girl.”

“I’d also like a boy and a girl.” Kaede dared to slide herself next to the detective, ignoring how wobbly her knees felt. She felt rewarded when he leaned closer as well.

“You too, huh?”

“It seems we’re compatible.”

“Yeah, sounds like it.”

“We’re already thinking alike.”

“Yeah. We both want two.”

“Angie, also wants a baby!”

“Tenko wants enough to make a rugby team!”

“If it is master’s request, then I would give birth to both boys and girls.”                                         

“Eh?”

“What?”

Shuichi turned just to be glomped by a ball of wool. He extracted the large blanket of warmth to see Angie smiling up at him. The artist had worn an extra thick brown wool coat, unused to the winter cold as she was used to more tropical climates.

“Angie?!” exclaimed Shuichi surprised. His surprise didn’t faze the tan girl as she raised her hand in the air excitedly.

“So how many babies do you want, Shuichi-kun?”

“B-baby? What are you saying!?”

“Angie is Shuichi-kun’s fiancée!” answered the girl, her excited expression contrasting from Shuichi’s confused one.

“When did we become engaged!?”  asked Shuichi, distressed. He definitely did not remember anything like that happening. To the detriment of his sanity, Angie happily supplied the reason.

“On Angie’s island, women marry the men they drink the blood of. Since you promised to let Angie drink your blood, then that would mean making Angie your bride. Nyahaha!”

Shuichi had no response, his jaw almost hanging open.  He then forced himself to close it to turn to the person next to her.

Tenko raised a palm, smiling. “Don’t worry, since Tenko is your little sister, I’m not planning on becoming your wife.”

“Then…”

“However.” The martial artist got into a battle stance. “My master told me it is the job of the little sister to give birth to the older brother’s child! This is especially important to train a new disciple in Neo-Aikido!”

“There’s no such job!” Shuichi felt his brain threatening to snap so then turned to Kirumi’s stoic face for a semblance of hope. She closed her eyes and briefly bowed her head.

“I am the same as Chabashira-san. As I am already Saihara-sama’s maid, I cannot become your wife.”

“When did I become your mas-”

“However, Master said you wanted a boy and a girl.” She gave him a sharp look of duty and stubbornness. “As a maid, I have to respond properly.”

Shuichi sighed and raised his hands in front of the three. “Okay, the three of you calm down for a moment. Also, why are you all suddenly talking about-Hii!”

Whatever Shuichi was about to say was cut off short as a monumental tremble went through his spine, causing his whole body to shiver. It didn’t help that the temperature of the room seemed to have decreased dramatically, especially coming from behind him.

He turned to see-

"<●> <●>"

“A…Akamatsu-san?” Shuichi asked, not really sure if the person next to him exuding such a dark and malignant aura was the same girl he was talking to earlier.

“Saihara-kun…what is this?” Kaede(?)’s voice was eerily calm yet harsh. Fingers that were used to play funeral marches made Shuichi’s shoulder’s creak with how hard they grabbed them.

“Explain.”

And Shuichi was happy to comply as he explained what exactly he had been doing with the other three and how he had asked them then promised to get what they had wanted for Christmas. Throughout the whole thing, the light in Kaede’s eyes started to come back and by the end of it, there was only a slight dullness left.

“And that’s how it is…”

“Hmmm, so you’ve been asking what people besides me what they wanted for a Christmas gift…”

She turned to her three classmates, with crossed arms.

“Angie just wants to drink Shuichi-kun’s blood!”

“Hey.”

“Tenko wanted to become his little sister.”

“Hey.”

“We were going to go to a hotel after dinner date.”

“Hey Hey!”  Kaede grit her teeth, her eyebrows locked together. “I have something to ask all of you but first of all…”

She turned back to the source of the chaos, who tried and failed to shrink into himself. “Hey, Saihara-kun. You said we’re going to have a date with just the two of us! So, what’s this date Tojo-san is saying?”

“W-well,” Shuichi sputtered, under her glare. “Tojo-san’s date will be tomorrow on 25 while Akamatsu-san’s date will be today on 24.”

“And the hotel!?”

“I didn’t know about that!”

“I booked a love hotel.” Kirumi added neutrally, though that only seemed to incite Kaede’s anger more much to Shuichi’s detriment.

“Then what’s this about being Chibasara-san’s brother?”

Tenko spoke up before Shuichi could. Unfortunately for him.  “It’s exactly what it means. Shuichi is now my niisama! We have become siblings!”

“Hoh?” scoffed Kaede. “So what changed between the two of you?”

“We’ve gotten along better than ever!” suppled Tenko excitedly. “We’ve taken a bath together and even slept in the same bed!”

The aikido expert then paused before tuning away a blush on her face. “Also,….I’ve helped with niisama’s…libido control…”

“Don’t add that!” cried Shuici. Kaede didn’t say anymore but Shuichi swore the temperature around them had dropped by numerous Celsius. The blonde turned to the final girl in the room who didn’t seem bothered by Kaede’s newfound mad enhancement.

“Angie-san. Why did you even want to drink Saihara-kun’s blood?”

“Angie always thought that his blood looked delicious,” answered the artist, her tone as chipper as her smile. “And then I heard Atua-sama tell me that I should! Nyahaha! I’m sure his blood will be exquisite.!”

“…and marriage?”

“It is the custom of Angie’s island. A woman must marry a man who has let her drink his blood. If you break it, Atua-sama will be angry.” And with a dull shine in her eyes that could rival Kaede’s own, Angie raised a warning finger. “If you get in the way…you’ll be punished.”

Shuichi shook as he watched the two, the world around them seeming to warp as their gazes clashed. Eventually, Kaede looked away and prevented a fight much to Shuichi’s relief. The bad news was that she now turned back to him, her bangs barely covering her dull eyes.”

“Saihara-kun.”

“Y-yes! I’ll do anything for forgiveness! Shuichi stood up straight, like he had been called upon by a teacher. At this point, he was willing to do anytjing to stop the possibly literal bloodbath that felt like it was about to break through. He was tense, ready to kneel down at a moment’s notice. “Do you want me to kneel down? Should I lick your shoes?”

“…. Will you not do the same to me?”

“….Eh?” Shuichi looked to see the dull gone from Kaede’s eyes only this time the light in them seemed to burn way too fierce.

“Let me drink the blood of Saihara-kun.”

“Let’s take a bath together.”

“Let’s sleep in a bed together.”

“Let me help with Saihara-kun’s libido control.”

“Let’s stay at a love hotel after this.”

“Let me..” Kaede grabbed his shoulders and from the dangerous glint in her eyes Shuichi knew there was no escape. “Please make me your bride!”

“Uh..um…” Shuichi wiggled in her grasp to no avail. Had Kaede always been this…off-key?

“You said anything right? This is fine, right?”

“No, that’s-“

“It’s fine, right?”

“But-“

“Fine, right?”

“Uwa…”

“Right?”

Shuichi hung his head down. There was no choice. He knew there was no more point in continuing. This was his end.

“Y-yes, Akamatsu-san.”

* * *

“Are you sure, you’re okay with this, Nanami?”

Hajime Hinata turned to the girl sitting next to him on the bench. In his hands was a familiar document that had caused him a fair share of dread. The marriage registration document was light for something so heavy. They’d be going to the City Hall on the next day.

“…yes.” The girl smiled up as Hajime filled in the registration with his personal stamp. Even in the cold winter’s afternoon, Chiaki looked warm with her Gal Galaga themed orange sweater. Hinata wore a matching one, the green coming from the player 2’s spaceships’ colors. “All that’s left is to send this to City Hall.”

Hajime sighed, his breath creating icy mist. “Till now I’m still surprised that I’ll be married tomorrow.  I don’t feel really feel anything for something so…big. I don’t think it’s sunk in yet.”

He felt a slight pat on the back and turned to Chiaki, her smile warm enough to make him forget that it was the middle of winter. “It’s odd for me too. My heart feels all fluffy…I think.”

The boy returned her smile with his own, one tired but hopeful. “It’s just that we’re getting married so suddenly even before we started dating. My heart’s a little shaken, that’s all.”

They held their gazes before Chiaki looked away and bowed her head, forlorn.

“…sorry, Hinata-kun.”

Hinata was surprised to hear an apology from her. Was she already regretting this? Cold Feet? No. He should believe in Chiaki like she did for him.

“What’s wrong?”

“Because I forced this event to happen without properly raising the flags, it must have been annoying for Hinata-kun…I’m sure.”

While he wasn’t entirely sure on the first part of what she said, Hajime did know that he didn’t feel anything she had suggested, rather it was the opposite.

“Don’t worry about it, I was just surprised that’s all. You don’t really get have Marriage registration forms for Christmas gifts anyways.” Hajime smiled seeing how his words brought the gamer back up from her wallowing.  “It’s just…marriage already? Why didn’t you want to start as a couple first?”

“It’s because I didn’t want you to be stolen by anyone.” Chiaki glared at him which Hajime always found to be more adorable than threatening, especially with her puffed cheeks. “It’s because Hinata-kun is a player.”

“Player? What do you mean?”

She raised a finger, her brow still furrowed. “You may not be aware of it, but a lot of girls go to Hinata-kun for help. You’re like a player character in a dating game.”

“Seriously, I didn’t notice anything like that.” Hajime rubbed the back of his head. She couldn’t be talking about her classmates, but they were the only girls he regularly got along with. He then felt a slight nudge on his shoulder.

“Insensitive as usual.”

“Well, even if I am insensitive, from now on, I’ll put Nanami’s feeling’s above everyone else’s!” Hajime declared which got an open smile from the gamer.

“Hinata-kun…”

“I also have to change how I call you to Chiaki because you’ll be Hinata too.” Hajime averted his eyes for a moment. “And you can call me Hajime, as well.”

“So I’ll be…Hinata Chiaki now.” The gamer stared up, as if downloading the new bit of information. She finished with a small blush. “Hehe. I’m happy that I could share a name with my favorite person.

“I wouldn’t have minded taking your last name.” Hajime meant it. While the alliteration was nice, Hinata was way too common a name for him. Nanami would have been fine.

“Well, I wanted Hinata-kun’s last name.” Chikai reached over and took his hand in her own. Her hand was so soft for a girl who spent all her time playing games. “When I think of the name Hinata Chiaki, I can truly feel how we’re connected. It’s like a hidden passive boost to all my stats.”

While he was listening to Nanami, his brain singled out on a single part of her line. Combined with how warm and soft felt, Hajime couldn’t stop his mind from wandering on certain things married couples did. This didn’t go unnoticed by Chiaki,

“Hinata-kun, R-18 things aren’t allowed yet.” She poked his arm with her free hand.

“I understand.” Hajime smiled apologetically. It wasn’t like he was ready to go that far yet. He already felt like he was going to die just holding her hand. “We’ll save all the fun for after the marriage.”

“Yep.” Chiaki squeezed his hand agreeing with him, however, she did scoot closer to him, making sure their shoulders were grazing when she looked up at him once more. “Kissing is okay…I think.”

“K-kissing.” Hajime watched Chiaki’s face, to see if there was any chance that she was joking. All he could see was a readiness and acceptance for him that, if it were any other time, he would envy. Yet now, he couldn’t help but want to believe in the girl that believed in him. He swallowed and steeled his determination. “Then, maybe somewhere more private.”

“What about…your room.”

“My…you sure?” Hajime watched Chiaki nod while pumping her free hand.  Sure, he had recently cleaned his room up, so it wasn’t a problem but then again it was still a _problem_. On the other hand, this was Chiaki who didn’t mind inviting him to her room for game sessions so maybe he was overthinking it.

“Then, let’s go.” Fighting the heat creeping up his face, Hajime pulled the hand he was holding, trying his best not to look back. If he did, he’d have noticed she was trying to do the same.

They walked back to Hajime’s dorm, hand in hand, not saying a word. They also didn’t happen upon a random Komaeda or other Ultimates much to their relief. By the time, they reached his room, most of the awkwardness was gone although Hajime did fumble his keys for a moment.

They both sat on his bed, staring at each other. This wasn’t even the first time Chiaki had visited his room. Back then, her intent was to just play some sort of video game with him but this time her intent was anything that innocent.

“So…” Hajime finally managed to speak after who knew how many minutes. The tension was so thick it didn’t even feel like his room anymore. “Are you still okay with…you know…”

“Yes.” was the small but sure affirmation next to him. Hajime swallowed.

“Sorry, I’m just so nervous.”

“Me too. The throbbing in my heart won’t stop.”

“I’ve only seen kisses in movies and dramas.”

“I know only of kissing scenes in games.”

Hajime nodded to himself. Of course, the both of them wouldn’t have had any previous experiences. He had to be the one to take in charge for once. He turned to Chiaki, almost flinching in the innocent look in her eyes. He gently placed his hand on her shoulder, not realizing just how small she was.

“If I could recall, I put my hand on your shoulder then we close our eyes and move close to each other.”

“You should also slant your head slightly and stick your lips together…maybe.”

“I see. You’re reliable as ever, Nanami.”

“If you just do it, things will turn out okay.”

“…that’s right.”

Hajime was surprised with how soft their voices had gotten or how much closer she was to him. Or maybe, they always were, and he just never noticed. He glanced away from her soft iris’ for a moment to spot her own lips. He licked his own.

“Nanami, close your eyes.”

The girl didn’t say anything as she complied. In the back of his head, Hajime wondered if she’d fall asleep. He placed his other hand on her remaining shoulder and gently pulled her closer, stopping a few inches away.

“Then…I-I’m going”

“Yes.”

“Hey, Chiaki…I love you.”

“I love you too, Hajime-kun.”

With that one last confession, Chiaki closed her eyes once more and waited, lips pursed. Even in the darkness, she could feel him move closer to her and closer until his head was right next to hers…then swerved down to find the crook of her neck instead of her lips.

She gasped as she felt his hot breath followed by his warm lips graze on her bare neck. She wasn’t sure if she should be thankful or not that she hadn’t gotten turtlenecks. Still, as much as she had enjoyed this, she wanted a proper kiss.

“Hinata-kun, can you…” She opened her eyes to see tufts of brown and a gleam of glass. Like his lips on her own, an empty syringe stuck to the boy’s neck. In alarm, Chiaki pushed him away, only to find little resistance, as if his body was a ragdoll.

Chiaki reached up and carefully extracted the syringe and lied the prone boy on his bed. While he was definitely still breathing from the rise and fall of his chest, his body twitched randomly but he mostly remained stationary. “Hinata-kun! Hey! What’s wrong?!”

“Huhuhuhu…”’ A soft voice suddenly entered Chiaki’s hearing. “It seems Nemura-san’s numbing medicine is pretty effective.”

“You are…”

“A convulsing Hinata-kun is also nice.”

“Tsumiki-san?” Chiaki looked on to see the familiar form of Tsumiki Mikan practically drool over the body of Hajime. The gamer also noticed the nurse wasn’t the only other person who had suddenly appeared.

 “Hey, is he really, okay?”

“Pfft. He looks like a fish dragged out of water.”

Two others stood nearby one showing concern and the other showing the complete opposite.

“Koizumi-san! Saionji-san! What are you doing-“ Chiaki shook her head. No, that wasn’t important. “What did you do to Hinata-kun!?”

“D-don’t worry, Nanami-san. The medicine only takes away the freedom on a person’s body for a while there’s no after effect.” Mikan spoke up, the usual apologetic look in her eyes offset with the creepy smile that went below it. Chiaki also felt like the nurse wasn’t looking at her at all. “P-please don’t be angry. I just wanted to s-stop your k-kiss.”

While Chiaki’s eyebrows furrowed together to form a glare, her mind was deciding if she should pursue her anger and annoyance or her curiosity and patience. She barely chose the latter. “…but why?”

“Why? It’s because, I didn’t want to see my dear Hinata-kun kiss another woman,” explained Mikan as if her answer was the most obvious thing in the world. She turned to the other two intruders nearby. “Right?”

“Hey! I’m different, pig barf!” denied Hiyoko while Mahiru looked away, blushing.

“Still, he could have gotten hurt!” Chiaki gestured to the still twitching Hajime. “If you want to aim at someone, aim at me!”

“I’m really sorry for doing something this, Chiaki-chan.” spoke up Mahiru, looking genuinely remorseful and yet not completely so. “But even so, I don’t want to let go of Hinata. Even if I’m hated or despised, even with these sorts of hands, I don’t want to lose. That’s why…”

Chaiki could see the redhead’s shoulders slightly tremble. “Koizumi-san…”

“I’m sorry.” Mahiru said once more and Chiaki wasn’t sure if she was sorry for doing such a thing or that she was sorry that she didn’t mind doing it.

“Nanami-san. I’d like to apologize for using such violence as well.” Mikan approached Chiaki, her fingers pushed together nervously. “Can’t you give us a chance?”

It took a moment for Chaiki to turn to Mikan and process what she had said.

“…a chance?”

“Yes.” Mikan’s smile grew wider. “We’d like to play a game with you.”

Chiaki frowned, at her words. “You have courage to challenge me to a game.”

“Well, Hinata-kun is originally Nanami-san’s, right? So, we’re in the position to steal the possession of our class rep’s.”

The gamer nodded, puffing her chest up a bit that the nurse acknowledged such a detail.

“Well, it’d be natural that you’d refuse but if it’s a game then Nanami-san will have to accept, right? ” Mikan’s fingers carefully pushed against each other much like she was pushing the girl in front of her. “Surely, the Ultimate Gamer won’t run away from a game match, right?”

“Tell me the details of the game.” Chiaki glared defiantly back at Mikan’s almost empty gaze. “Whatever game it is, I won’t lose!”

“Ufufu, please don’t worry, Nanami-san. The game is simple.” The nurse’s grin was almost manic now, slight drool leaking from the edges of her mouth. ”The winner is the first person to get pregnant with Hinata-kun’s child!”

“…what.”

“It is as I said.” Mikan grasped the bandages covering her left hand, a blush never leaving her face. “We’re all going to have sex with him right now and the first person to get pregnant will become the legal wife of Hinata-kun.”

Chiaki nodded before asking, “What happens to the losers then?”

“They are free to do as they wish.” Her classmate replied happily. “You can give up or aim for the position of mistress. The important part is that the winner will be acknowledged as the official wife of Hinata-kun.”

“So no condoms, front only, full-on penetration.” Another nod from Chiaki and this time she turned to the other two. “Will the both of you be participating as well?”

Mahiru’s face soon matched her hair but she nodded sharply. “I’m going to because…because I’m the who will marry Hinata-kun!”

“Hmm, I’m not interested in being onii-chan’s wife as I’m already his little sister.” Hiyoko inflated one cheek in thought before her mouth twisted into a mischievous grin. “Then again, it may be interesting to watch the development of forbidden love between siblings. I’ve decided! I’ll participate!”

“Hmm. I understand that you want to win but-“ Chiaki balled her fists into herself. “I’m not going to lose! I won’t hand over Hinata-kun to anyone! I’m the one who’s going to marry him!”

“As I thought.” chirped Mikan, happy that everyone had agreed. She then reached into the pocket of her dress to bring out various bottles and syringes. “Now, what kind of medicine will I use.”

“This is your opportunity Mahiru! You can’ beat the two of them in style.” Mahiru told herself. She then glanced at her two biggest opponents. “Breast size is irrelevant to pregnancy! You can’t lose!”

Hiyoko just watched the three girls, amused at the whole situation. Later, she’d have to ask one to help take her clothes of for her but for now she’d let them go first. She glanced at the cause of all this and directed a smirk at him.

“Oniichan is too popular. Please do your best not to die from drying up.”

The only reply she got from Hajime was a soft gurgle.

* * *

Naegi Makoto blinked, staring at the lit-up display of his phone. More specifically, he was looking at his lack of messages from his two close friends.

Today, the three of them had decided to take out the girls they had all decided to marry with. It had been agreed upon before hand that the three club mates would update each other on how their afternoons had went.

It was already evening, hours since they all had left the clubroom, yet Makoto hadn’t received a single message from either of his friends. He wasn’t sure if that was a good sign or a bad sign but knowing the two, he knew they’d at least have wanted to gloat.

 Could they perhaps have been in trouble?

“Is something wrong, Naegi-kun?” Makoto looked away from his phone to see a small amount of worry on his date’s face. Well, worry may not have been accurate. Curiosity, perhaps. Even after all this time, the luckster had a hard time reading the stoic face of Kirigiri Kyoko.

The detective sat next to him, in her winter garb which consisted of a white long coat and a matching fluffy hat. The moonlight shone through the transparent glass of the boat they were riding and made her lavender hair glow silver. The cruise had a surprisingly few amount of people riding it, especially on a day as romantic as tonight but Naegi took it as his luck helping out. Just one or two others by themselves and they sat far away from the two Ultimates.

All around them, the city lit up as buildings, trees, and ferris wheels, colored the water below with neon lights.

Brighter than any of the displays in the distance, Kyoko’s own purple eyes gleamed at him, inspecting.

“It’s nothing, Kirigiri-san,” assured Makoto as he pocketed his phone. He replaced his worried frown with a smile, but the still detective didn’t look convinced, so he decided to tell her the truth. “I was just wondering about some other people.”

Kyoko nodded but that was only in acceptance of his information that satisfaction. Her eyelids narrowed slightly. “Could it be another girl?”

“A girl? Of course not!” Makoto waved his hands in denial. Well, if he were to be honest, Komaru had been irritated when he told her he wasn’t coming back home for Christmas Eve but that was another thing entirely.

“Hmm.” Kyoko gave his panicked face one last glance before turning her head away, finally disinterested. “Even so, I wonder if I’m boring you, Naegi-kun. You seem to have other people on your mind.”

“What? How could you say that!” exclaimed Makoto. Thankfully, they were alone at the moment, so his outburst wasn’t noticed by anyone but the girl. He scratched his chin, despondently “If anything, I’ve been the boring one. All I’ve done tonight is talk about myself.”

“That’s where you’re wrong Naegi-kun. I quite enjoy hearing your normal stories.” Kyoko met his eyes with a wistful look. “While I don’t regret my own, there’s comfort in a normal childhood as well.”

“That’s right. Kirigiri-san’s childhood should have been more exciting than mine. Well, most peoples are.”

“Exciting is one way to put it.” The detective took the moment to pensively stared at the water reflecting the Christmas lights of the city. “This is my first time riding a boat for leisure. Normally, there’s a murder to be solved.”

“Makoto watched silently as the cruise passed by a nearby amusement park with a massive ferris wheel. The light display on the side of the ride were reflected in hid date’s purple orbs.

“It’s quite nice, you know. I’ve never known such things could look so beautiful or maybe I’ve never bothered looking.” Her face turned back to him and Makoto had to lean back quickly, he hadn’t realized how close he had gotten. “For a detective, even my own eyes can miss things.”

“L-like what?” stuttered out Makoto as he felt his heartbeat flutter faster from the girl’s focused stare.

“Things such as knowing my classmates, living a normal school life, the taste of a friend’s coffee, the enjoyment of exchanging flower garlands, my father’s intentions, this incessant beating in my chest.-“ With each list, Kyoko moved herself closer and closer until she was practically all over him. “This was all because of you, Naegi-kun.”

“M-me?” Makoto half-squeaked, half whispered, too busy trying to ignore how warm the girl leaning on him felt. Her face was just way too close that he could practically make out the the cold exhaled from her mouth.

“That’s right.” The girl finally stopped her approach and gave him a little space. The look in her eyes was still just as intense however. “You’ve been so stubborn in trying to befriend such an annoying girl. You keep trying to involve me in the class or involve yourself with me. I never thought I’d bother staying in this school and yet here I am.”

“But you still go out for cases a lot, Kirigiri-san.” Makoto pointed out. While he did try to get her involved in the class as much as possible, he always felt his efforts were less than stellar. ”I don’t feel like I’ve really done anything.”

“But I always return here because I know you’re waiting. I’ve always done cases just to expose the truth but now…” Kyoko glanced down briefly before meeting his gaze once more. “Now, I do it also because I have a place that I need to return to. A place you’ve created by always being there for me. And one I’ve come to enjoy.”

“Kirigiri-san…”  Makoto listened, surprised that the girl would open up so much, surprised that she had felt this way, and surprised that he had helped somehow. He was so entranced that he didn’t flinch when the girl practically glared at him with arms crossed.

“Naegi-kun. Please take responsibility for what you’ve done. I thought that I could live and die as a detective but, because of you, I’ve started to see otherwise.” The girl’s stare relaxed softly as a small smirk grew on her face.  “You’ve singlehandedly ruined years of Kirigiri tradition.”

“That…sounds bad?” Makoto asked in alarm, unsure of what it meant. He knew how important that was to her so it should be a bad thing, yet the detective seemed perfectly calm about how much trouble he sounded he was in.

“It’s okay because I broke some of it myself to meet with _him_.” Kyoko smiled assuredly as she squeezed his hand in her own. “If it’s for family, I wouldn’t mind doing it again.”

“F-family, you say…” The luckster rubbed the back of his head. “So a Kirigiri, then?”

“It doesn’t have to be Kirigiri, no. As I said, I’ve grown to see myself more than my family, both the talent and the people it brings with it. I can be a Kirigiri detective and the daughter of that man and yet be more. Family is more than blood and names. You’ve done more than enough to prove yourself by creating a place for me.” Kyoko then placed a gloved hand over his own. “I wonder if you feel the same way…”

“Kir-no- Kyouko-san. I…I have what you wanted.” Grasping the hand with his, he reached into his pocket with his free one to bring out a small black box. The sight caused the girl’s eyes to widen in surprise which allowed Makoto to speak more. “You know, at first, I thought it was just another of your jokes. I mean, why would you want to marry someone normal like me. Een now, I’m still don’t think I’ve really done anything but want to be your friend. But, for a moment, I wanted to hope even a little that it could be true.”

Taking her hand off Makoto’s, Kyoko silently took the box from him with both hands. She opened it to see a simple gold band lacking any stones or jewelry.

“Sorry, it’s so plain. It’s the best I could do,” apologized Makoto. He had wanted something more special, but he couldn’t even get an engraving.  He had been guaranteed it was pure gold, at least. “I-I’ll make sure the wedding rings will be better.”

However, he had no need to worry, as Kyoko’s astonished expression melted into a smile warm enough to melt the snow around them. Even something that was normal to him, looked absolutely precious to her. As per usual.

“It’s perfect, Naegi-kun.”

“R-really?! Thank goodness.” Makoto sighed in relief, his body visibly slumping from the lack of tension. He noticed the girl removing the ring and trying it on her finger. “I wasn’t sure about the size, so I got one that was bigger than normal. I didn’t know if you wanted to wear it over your gloves or, if not, you could at least grow into it.”

“I see.” Kyoko noted from how loose it was even over her gloves. She placed the ring back In the box. “It was partly my fault for not giving you my size. We can return to the store and get one more fitting.”

“Eh? But that’s-“It was hard enough talking to the sales attendant and convincing her he was serious in buying a ring. He didn’t want to go back there just to disappoint her that he got the size wrong.

“Please look forward to it.”

“H-hai.”

Silence crept up once again after Naegi pocketed the box once more. The couple decided to enjoy it, watching the scenery outside, their hands intertwined.

“By the way, Naegi-kun,” Kyoko suddenly spoke up as they passed the halfway point of their cruise. “You’ll still have to talk with my grandfather about this.”

“Eh! Really?”

“Of course.” Kyoko’s showed a mirthful smile. “I’m sure he’ll be anything but happy that I’ll be giving up the Kirigiri name so early.”

“But, Kyoko-san, I don’t really mind if I take up your name.”

“And I feel the same way for yours.” She stared into his eyes, squeezing his hand. “I think it’d be a good opportunity to update the family tradition and make it my own. Our own.”

“If that’s what you want, Kyouko-san, then I’ll do my best.”

“And I know you will. You always tend to surpass my expectations.” Kyoko paused for a moment, before brushing her a stray strand the wind had blown out behind her ear. Her cheeks glowed pink. “Say, isn’t there still one thing you’re forgetting.”

Makoto biinked. Was there something else she wanted besides a ring. “Um…”

“What usually comes after a proposal.” The detective pressed herself closer to him all the while averting his gaze. “It’s rude to make woman say it, Naegi-kun.”

The idea immediately connected in his head. Of course! There was still that. The whole proposal had gone so smoothly that he hadn’t time to worry about what would come after.

Makoto steeled his gaze as he turned to her. “Then…can I kiss you, Kyoko-san?”

“Don’t make a girl answer a question like that, cheeky Naegi-kun” The girl sighed but still turned to face him. The cruise had gotten far away from the city so only the light of the moon leaked from her back.

“Sorry.” Makoto felt he was about to faint from how fast his heart was beating but forced himself to only concentrate on the girl next to him. “Kyoko-san, close your eyes.”

“Okay, Makoto-kun.”

And to his wonder, she did. She sat there, patiently waiting. Although, really how long has he had her waiting for this? He couldn’t let her wait anymore.

Two hands grabbed shoulders and pulled the other closer, smashing lips together. One of the pair leaned forward, hungry as if pushing harder against each other would cause their minds and bodies to melt faster than it already was.

“Makoto-kun…?”

A tongue forced itself into the others mouth, crashing through soft lips and inspecting every nook and cranny it could rub against. It’s counterpart was helpless as the intruder swished and thrashed against it.

“Please do it quickly.”

The two hands then moved up from shoulders to cheeks, grabbing them and locking the head in place. This prevented any possible escape as the kiss was impossibly deepened even further; the two participants’ faces practically melding together.

“Makoto-kun, not yet?”

Kirigiri Kyoko opened her eyes just in time to see a pair of lips separate themselves from the boy’s mouth, a trail of saliva hanging between them. As the hands holding his head finally let go of him. Makoto fell backwards into his seat. his face flushed and breathing heavy.

“Thanks for the meal,” said Maizono Sayaka as wiped her fingers across her glossy lips. Her tongue followed, peeking out to wipe away anything left and to give her lips a glassy sheen.

“You…what are you doing?”

Her smirk still on her lips, the idol turned to the detective feigning surprise. “Oh Kirigiri-san, you were there after all?”

“I’m asking you what you think you’re doing.” The detective stood from her seat to confront the new annoyance. Her face remained neutral but the look in her eyes would have been enough to kill a person twenty times over.

Sayaka met her fury head-on, not even flinching at the barely concealed rage directed at her. Instead, she adopted a surprised look, her hand going over her mouth that formed an “o”.

“Didn’t you see Kirigiri-san? I was able to take the first kiss of Naegi-kun.” The detective’s glare intensified but the idol took it in stride. “Are you frustrated? Something that was meant to be yours was taken right in front of you.”

Kyoko’s mouth opened, baring teeth. “I’m sure you’d know a lot about that. You had such a lead early on but Makoto-kun was here with me tonight.”

The only sign that her words affected Sayaka was the barely susceptible twitch on the idol’s cheek. “Well, Kirigiri-san’s pretty cute after all. Your face as you stuck out your lips for a kiss that wasn’t coming gave me a good laugh.”

The two continued to meet each other’s gazes, never once blinking. If it was possible, lightning would have crackled between them.

“Well, it’s only fair. Kirigiri-san gets an engagement ring, so I took his first kiss.” Sayaka spoke up first, her smile never leaving her, one as hollow as her eyes. “And I’ll also be to taking Naegi-kun’s virginity.”

“You already stole Makoto-kun’s first kiss and now you’re trying to negotiate for his virginity?” Kyoko scoffed, a very dry and cold bark that would have sent any murderer confessing. “Don’t even try joking. As Makoto-kun’s wife, I can’t forgive such a thing.”

“Joking?” Sayaka tilted her head in jested confusion. “Aren’t you the one who’s being impudent by already pretending to be his wife?”

Without breaking eye contact the Sayaka pulled out a card from her pocket. “Naegi-kun, don’t you want to leave this woman alone to spend Christmas with me? I booked a reservation suite at a high-end hotel. Let’s make a hot Christmas for only two people.”

To that, Kyoko cracked her knuckles before raising a fist. “Just wait there, Makoto-kun. I will erase the existence of this ignorant girl. After we’ll have a Christmas dinner and I’ll introduce to you a restaurant with a beautiful night’s view.”

“”Well?!?””

The two turned at the same time only to find the spot the luckster had previously been to be empty. They both immediately turned to the end of the cruise to find him being held up bridal style by another of their classmates.

“Makoto-kun, we need to get you disinfected,” muttered Mukuro as she put down the boy in her arms. “It’s still too early for someone like you to be involved in such things. The only girls you need in your life are your sisters.”

“Mukuro-onee-san?”

“You alright, Naegi? That looked awful and I was all the way over here.”

“Asahina-san?” Makoto turned between the two not sure what was going on. “Why are the both of you here? Did I slip up telling someone my plans?”

“Ahahaha…kind of?” Aoi nervously chuckled. In truth, it was all because Kyoko had gloated about their plans to the chat box of the girls of Class 78, mostly as a show of dominance to deter others. It backfired completely, of course. “Let’s just say we heard it through the grapevine?”

Makoto opened his mouth to ask her more but found himself closing it when he felt the incredible amount of malevolence directed at the three of them.

Reacting immediately, , Mukuro threw the knives at the direction of the vast killing intent close by, aiming to immobilize them more than kill.

“What are you doing taking my husband?” In one smooth effortless motion, Kyoko flicked away the knife speeding towards her with the hand continuing up to flick her long hair back behind her shoulder.

“It seems Kirigiri-san is not the only insect around here.” Sayaka just continued walking, not even flinching as the knife almost grazed her as her body made the minimum amount of movement to get out of its path. “How troublesome.”

“N-no way? Ikusaba-san’s attacks didn’t work!” Aoi held up her hands to her mouth in shock and partly in fear.

 “…Naegi-kun, hide behind nee-san.” Mukuro stepped in front of Naegi defensively, pushing the boy behind her with an arm.

“Ikusaba-san, please leave.” Kyoko crossed her arms, her expression unamused. “You don’t want to become a person like this girl next to me, the type to tear apart a couple’s love.”

However, Mukuro stood firm, her eyes narrowing dangerously. Few men had ever been able to keep standing at such a sight. This because the rest died painful deaths and the few that did survived. “It is a sister’s role to protect her younger brother. Neither of you will pass.”

“Naegi-kun isn’t your younger brother! He’s my milk server!”

“No, my husband!”

“No, my brother!”

“It seems useless no matter what I say.”

“Yes, it’s impossible for a pest to understand words after all.”

“I’ll make sure not to kill either of you. It’ll be a disgrace to show my brother such a sight.”

Makoto gulped. He wasn’t entirely sure if he had peed himself or not, but he was sure no one would have blamed him. The atmosphere between the three felt like some sort of Killing School Life was about to occur. He knew he should stop this, but he wasn’t sure how. It had to be very carefully and controlled as the tiniest movement could unleash this storm.

Unfortunately for Naegi, next to him, Aoi had an epiphany. The swimmer had realized just then that this was an opportunity for her. If she claimed Naegi for herself, then the three people would also stop fighting. She could actually swim while carrying Naegi back to mainland.

She thought about what Sakura would say, something about taking the hard and thorny path and decided. Elsewhere, Oogami Sakura had an intense urge to massage her temples while shaking her head.

Aoi pulled the boy’s sleeve and whispered, “Hey, Naegi-kun. Let’s escape now!”

Before Makoto could reply, three voices spoke up in unison.

“”“Asahina-san…”””

“Wah!” Aoi jumped when she heard her name come from the trio nearby. They hadn’t moved or even turned to her but somehow, they had known.

“I won’t let you run away.”

“Please stay there quietly.”

“If you run away…you understand, right?”

To emphasize the last point, a knife had stuck itself in front of the swimmer’s feet.

“Y-yes, ma’ams!”

As quickly as possible, Makoto checked his phone. Only ten more minutes till the cruise ended. Just ten more minutes. He could survive that, right?

**[Death is spelled with D-A-T-E with some H in the end]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: This could have only ended in one way. 
> 
> For this chapter, the biggest change was putting Shuichi’s up first and Naegi’s at the end. In the original, Naegi’s went first, completely breaking the established pattern. I didn’t even understand why as Shuichi’s relied the most on the surprise which was why it was the longest and most played straight while the others were shorter because by then it was more about the bloodbath. I’ll have to apologize that I went full Naegiri when the original was just Naegi presenting the ring and Kyoko acting shy. I couldn’t help it but I did hold back so it’s much shorter than intended. I know Kyoko seems more talkative but she honestly is in UDP so I say it could happen if she goes full dere.
> 
> Fun thing. I don’t think Nori intentioned it, but each harem represented a different kind of government. Shuichi’s is communism where everyone is given the exact same treatment. Hinata’s is democracy, where everyone agrees what to do which is then instituted by the agreed-upon leader. Naegi’s is anarchy which is take what you want and just pure chaos.
> 
> And I kind of want to end the fic here as the next and last part is basically, uh, fivesome scenes for each protag and an epilogue. And I’m still debating on how to adapt them properly as they’re all mostly “Character name: *Moan and/or groan*” so I’m not sure if I should go full lemon sex scene or not. I’ll still do it don’t worry.
> 
> True end: [Dr. Ronpa or how I learned to stop worrying and love the harem]


End file.
